Heroclix: Units Gone Wrong

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green-goblin-horz

If you’ve been a gamer for a while, like I have, you know how it is;  how can some units get screwed up so bad?

If you’ve been a gamer for a while, like I have, you know how it is.  We love these games, invest time and emotion into them, and we assume that the creators/designers do so as well.  So why is it, then, that they sometimes screw it up so catastrophically bad?

You know the feeling, the “I love this game!  I can’t wait to get my hands on the newest set/supplement/edition/etc.”  Then you open it up, devour it with an eager gaze and then … “What the hell?!?”  There are plenty of examples, such as Ahriman in Warhammer 40,000.  If he’s such a powerful psyker, purportedly one of the most powerful in the galaxy, why is it that then that on the tabletop he’s so terrible at it compared to, well, pretty much everybody?  Even more enigmatically, why is it that Games Workshop refuses to see that 40K Chaos fans want to play armies that revolve around the original traitor legions (which have numerous named characters and reams of background material) and not simply renegades  (who have almost no characters of note and meager background at best)?  I could go on and on, but I’d like to focus on the most recent example of this phenomenon — Green Goblin in the newly released The Superior Foes of Spider-Man Heroclix set.

The Superior Foes of Spider-Man really is a fun and evocative Heroclix set.  Filled to the brim with nearly every A-list Spidey villain (Green Goblin, Venom, Doctor Octopus, etc.), WizKids still managed to stuff in a bunch of contemporary characters from the Spider Island story-line, a host of never-before-clixed villains from the oh so cheesy Serpent Society, a plethora of alternate versions of Spider-Man himself and a lot more.  Many of these characters were badly in need of updating, such as Hydro Man, Carnage and Boomerang, or simply have never been done at all, such as Frog-Man, Silk and some members of the aforementioned Serpent Society.  But despite all this, there is one glaring mistake that tarnishes the set – Green Goblin.

Rocket-Raccoon-crashes-ship-GoTG

Don’t like super heroes or comics?  Why you lying?  I just saw you watching the Dark Knight Rises.

Despite including three versions of the iconic Spidey villain in the set, Green Goblin (okay, one is Hobgoblin, but close enough), not one version has the ability to fly.  And only one version, who is not even in the actual set but rather the Fast Forces add-on pack that accompanies it, has the Energy Explosion power.  That’s right, the classic Spider-Man villain who is best known for swooping down from the sky on his goblin glider and tossing out a glove full of pumpkin bombs at both our favorite hero and the innocent public alike, can do neither in the most recent Heroclix set.  And what’s worse, the sculpts of Green Goblin/Hobgoblin all depict him holding a pumpkin bomb!  Don’t get me wrong, the dials for these characters are not bad, and the powers that they do possess are quite serviceable for a super villain.  But these Goblins are imposters!  How can you call yourself the Green Goblin or Hobgoblin and not have the ability to fly or use a pumpkin bomb?

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Poor Hobgoblin.  Almost 15 years and three separate versions, and not one with Energy Explosion.

Before you scorn me for ridiculous hyperbole, consider this Mallrats quote from the Man himself, Stan Lee.  “You know, it reminds me of an issue of Spider-Man I did.  When Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy went lingerie shopping.  Of course, the Green Goblin showed up, and he pumpkin-bombed the hell out of the place.  But aside from that, it’s pretty much the same thing.”   Of course, this scene is now impossible in our current Heroclix games.  Instead, Green Goblin shows up at the place, walks to the lip of the building and must shout down to, oh I don’t know, say Scorpion.  “Hey, Parker’s in there with his girlfriend!  Can you, uh, tail-whip the hell out of the place for me?!”  See?!?  It just doesn’t work WizKids.

~What do you think, am I on to something?  Or am I just crazy?  What blatant, no-brainer, error irks you and for what game system?

Read more from Kazzigum on Slaved to Ruin

  • Diagoras

    Oh… That Ahriman comment cuts so deep… If only because it’s depressingly accurate…

    Please stop reminding me how awful his model is.

  • Jake

    Gwen Stacy lingerie shopping? you think you can drop that in an article than just leave us hanging!?

    • Severius_Tolluck

      she died