Every 40k Player Needs a Man-Purse

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Pimpcron is coming at you this week with some fashion advice. Take from that what you will.

Hello you fabulous people! The Pimpcron has just flown in from Paris and is chock full of new fashion ideas for you burly gamer types! So what am I talking about? Well, even I just barely know. I’m talking about the benefits of having a gaming bag that isn’t a transport for your models. A gaming bag that holds all of your other crap.

Why Do I Need a Man-Purse?

Well when you really think about it, there are a lot of peripheral gaming accessories that we need for this game. And many army transports don’t have an ample amount of pockets for all of said paraphernalia. If you travel to game, like to a store or a friend’s house, you’ll need to bring a Large Blast Template, Small Blast Template, Flamer Template, Scatter dice, a Dice Cube, Tape Measure, Main Rulebook, Army Codex, any Supplements you use, objective markers, and anything else you use.

You could go the homeless route and bring it all in a plastic grocery bag, or the homeless hipster route in a hemp grocery bag. Or the Khorne route in a hollowed out skull of one of your foes, but then we start getting into some legal gray area. I, for one, use a Diaper Dude diaper bag.

Hilarious, right? I’m not joking. Here’s my bag.

I got it for free, so that’s why I use it, but it does an awesome job of keeping all of my gaming crap together. In addition to all of the stuff I previously listed, I also keep Stronghold Assault, 3 sets of dice cubes in case one starts rolling crappy, Battle Missions book, and an Apoc flame template. I have so many armies, that I was always forgetting to bring stuff when I switched armies so I started using this. I was constantly having to borrow tape measures, rule books, and dice. Now I know that whatever army I bring that week, I have all of my core stuff with me.

Ya know, I’ve been doing this blogging thing for almost 3 years now, with around 115 articles posted, and I never ever thought that this job would take me to a place where I share a list of my man-purse contents with readers. I’m feeling a mixture of freedom and embarrassment; kind of like my first night as a male stripper for a strip-o-gram company. Whose first stop was a Nursing Home. Where my grandmother stays. She’s not a bad tipper, but Thanksgiving and Christmas has been awkward.

Whoops, I let my guard down for one minute and out comes the insanity. Back to the topic at hand.

40k Man Purses Can Actually Save You Money

Well for one, it allows you to buy cheaper army transports that aren’t littered with pockets. If you ever looked into buying an army transport, you’ll notice that they are not cheap, and only the more expensive ones have a good amount of pockets if they have pockets at all. So by purchasing a cheap satchel or diaper bag like yours truly, you can save money on not having to get top of the line army transports.

man-purse-2Hugh Jackman uses one. As an added bonus, carrying that weight apparently makes your arms huge.

As a bonus, you’ll save a lot of money when you use the man-purse, because it acts as a female-repellent. You’ll save money by not spending it on dates and meals gambling on a slim chance at procreation practice. I’m just kidding, women nowadays don’t care if you carry a man-purse around full of stuff to play toy wars with. And do you know who we thank for that? Jerry Seinfeld. He was the pioneer of man-purses in his show Seinfeld. Thanks to him, it entered our social lexicon in the early 90’s and has had time to simmer. Plus, she’ll be more upset by what’s in it versus the actual purse.

jerry-seinfeld-fancy-boyHere is Seinfeld from the episode, talking to a dark-haired Wookie.

Lastly, Don’t Call It A Man Purse

Except in situations where comedy is needed, don’t refer to it as a man purse. I call mine my Action Satchel of Brutality. Doesn’t that sound way cooler? There is enough going against us socially as nerds, the last thing we need is to actively give “normal people” ammunition against us.

So it’s best to give it a manly name like I did which is aimed at confusing the other person and helping to fend off any further questions about your man pur- … Action Satchel of Brutality. But I will warn you that if a police officer is searching you and asking what that bag is you’re carrying, remember to be polite, humble, and honest. Call it a man purse and maybe he will have pity on you. Calling it by your awesome, manly name you gave it may just escalate the situation.

Do you any of you use some sort of bag to carry your extra stuff? If not, then our Patron Saint Jerry Seinfeld is ashamed of you.

Shorehammer ticket sales close October 31st!

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  • Darth Bumbles

    WE call them man bags here.

  • The Rout

    I have a man bag and have never used it for wargaming. Should i feel shame? Plus the term man bag just sounds like balls anyway, if balls are feminine then the world no longer makes sense to me.

    • Runefyre

      “man bag”
      “never used it for wargaming”

      I can’t imagine they were designed for that use anyway 0_0

      😉

  • CoolCrib

    “[…]of Brutality” is too much. I much prefer “Action Satchel” – sounds genuine!

  • Knight_of_Infinite_Resignation

    I have a plastic box with a lid-handle, kind of like the thing a spare organ might show up to a hospital in. I can carry the huge unwieldy models GW makes these days plus a plastic bag inside. The bag holds templates, dice, tape, folding ruler, objective markers, superglue and plastic glue.

    • Knight_of_Infinite_Resignation
      • euansmith

        I’m liking those new Stormcast Eternals, and some more female model bits should be useful for conversion work. Thanks for sharing, though you are supported to post this as “Breaking News” and divide the photos up over five or six posts.

        I’m hoping that one of the missions covers the Custodes trying to prevent Giegor from marking his territory.

        “Not on the carpet! Bad boy!”

        • Knight_of_Infinite_Resignation

          Now we know who steals the Gaunt Summoner’s pies.

          • Severius_Tolluck

            Now we know why he’s a gaunt summoner….

        • ZeeLobby

          LoL.

        • SYSTem050

          Damn gw for releasing the various models in a combined pic how is BoLS supposed so spin it out to 4 articles now.

          Still at least we will get the first look at them in about 2 months

      • ZeeLobby

        Woot!

  • Lord Elpus

    I have a man bag from g.w when I worked with them, it has the old Empire wfb shield embroidered on it this holds template , movement trays and associated bumf.. there is also a lotr slip case they used to do that contains extra dice and templates. And my relevant army book and rules..

    • I also have the 40k one with the massive metal plate with the Imperial Aquila on it. I wear it backwards so the ‘common folk’ don’t think I’m a nazi in public.

      • Lord Elpus

        I still have mine too! Aye I’ve had to explain to a few folk about it.. It’s a great bag!

      • Ciaphas Cain

        And I wear an Aqulla Belt buckle.

        Most folks would just think it’s a brand logo.

  • euansmith

    “Action Satchel of Brutality”?

    Noob! Its a Tactical Delivery System!

  • Moonsaves

    “I got it for free, so that’s why I use it”.
    I always appreciate an honest endorsement.

  • Bredkooler

    Dude, backpack. Plus if you have a backpack full of BOOKS the thing explains itself. Seriously.

  • CthulhuDawg

    I use the Munitorum Satchel that came with the 6E rule book “Gamers” edition. It came 3 pockets, one with a las magazine replica with red grim darky dice. The other two fit those las packs that came with vehicle markers, damage dice blah blah. Mine holds all that plus white dwarves with rules, a mini rulebook, any codex/supplements I’m using, templates and dice. Plus I can clip my tape measure to it. As a grown man I’m okay wearing it the distance from the parking lot to the shop.

    • CthulhuDawg
    • Severius_Tolluck

      I do the same.. never thought I would use the darn thing so much, but I do…

    • ieyke

      Ditto.
      The satchel carries my rule books and Codices, and all the special edition lasgun pack dice sets.
      I also use the 5th edition metal Imperial ammo crate to carry all the objective markers, counters, templates, cards, lasers, and tape measures.

      http://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a5a858a321dbbc5d7e3b1fb31d82fe2f6e8a19231901217e4475b3a3673fc32.jpg

      • CthulhuDawg

        I have been kicking myself literal years for not buying that. When 5E dropped our group just kept playing 4th and I never even grabbed the fifth edition rule book. I want those markers so bad! /jellyschool

        • ieyke

          You can get the case itself for around $60 on ebay.
          You can currently buy the markers on ebay for $30. Search for “Warhammer 40k 5th Edition Turn Markers”.

    • Ciaphas Cain

      I’d kill for one of them.

      I have the Fantasy Empire rucksack.

  • Damistar

    I have the original Apocalypse backpack. Lots of pockets and holds about 4 codexes and one of GWs plastic mini cases.

    • Severius_Tolluck

      I use that one as a gym bag lol, although all my Bolt Action stuff is in it since I needed something to free my hands for the weekend.

  • Sebastien Bazinet

    Murse!

    • euansmith

      Darn, those Hipsters; they ruin everything. Pipes, beards, top knots and now man-bags.

      • CthulhuDawg

        IKR. I just want to enjoy my Peterson system with some fine Squadron Leader without being lumped in with some scarf wearing, corn cob captain black teenager who wants to look cool. I guess you can’t blame them around here, it is the states after all.

  • Otter

    Or you can just be anti-social like me an game at home. Force your opponent to fight you where you have the advantage !

  • Andrew Thomas

    Been itching for a proper surgeon’s kit bag.

  • krisbrowne42

    It’s just a purse, or a bag… maybe a courier bag depending on style… We just don’t need to call things man- or girl- whatever…

    Except for Tau – That’s a girl-army.

    • I call it a man purse because I think it sounds funny.

  • CatachanCommissar

    I just use a sweet fanny pack.

    All jokes aside I wish the utility belts of d&d lore were in style, I’d love to wear those all around. And ponchos.

  • Alpharius

    Did you just compare a Louis Vuitton duffell with your diaper purse?

    • lol. Diaper purse. I think I like that more than my name for it.

  • SacTownBrian