Pimpcron’s Super Happy Fun Time 40k

And people say he’s always so angry …

Hi Friends! The People’s Pimpcron is back this week, and boy am I happy! Ya know, I hear that I complain too much and that sometimes my snarkiness can be a downer. “GW should do this” or “Why do my Nids get left out?” or “Does this look infected?”

Well that is the Pimpcron of the past. Today I woke up early, ate a bunch of pills from a random bottle in my cabinet. Then I drank 4 cups of coffee and watched 2 hours of Power Puff Girls clips of just Bubbles. I’M READY TO BE HAPPY!

This little guy makes me so happy. Why?

Warhammer Is The Best Game Ever Made

Boy oh boy! This game is just ever-so wonderful and I can’t tell you enough how great it is to be in this hobby with all of you sexy people! I mean, Warhammer is the coolest game because it lets you be creative. Build your models YOUR way and paint your models YOUR way. Make up neat fluffy back stories for your armies and make new friends in the bestest game I’ve ever seen!

And the prices: boy are they reasonable! I mean I used to get angry about price increases, but after playing for so long, I’ve come to enjoy the burn of paying more for something I bought for less! If you don’t eat hot sauce of peppers you wouldn’t understand. Each time you get burned by a pepper of a price hike, your brain releases endorphins to help with the pain. Over time, you begin to like this little shot of happiness. GW is trying to make you happy!

Is he being serious, or sarcastic?! It kind of makes sense though!

[***internal error*** Honesty detected, tone it down Pimp]

This company has a lot of overhead costs and employs a lot of people. Whenever you see them very gently nudge up prices for the same number of models, there is probably some behind the scenes reason for it. You don’t know, it could be exchange rates, new costs, or anything else. You know, they could increase all of the boxes at one time, but they don’t. It seems to me that they have some scheduled format that they use that increases over time and the new models are priced using the “current” price in their formula. You can’t expect any company to keep prices the same forever. And they did recently bring some prices down per model on AoS models by doubling the models per box and not doubling the box price.

And The Players Are Great!

We have such a wonderfully diverse range of players! I mean, we all kind of fit the same demographic, but I played with a female once! I’m not even joking. A decade of playing and I’ve played ONE female, ever. I haven’t even gone to a game store and seen a female play besides that one, that one time.

[***internal error*** Honesty detected, cut it out]

I mean, we are like a veritable Unicef ad! We all come from different back grounds, income levels and … we play different armies. All of us have different skill levels in strategy and painting. [looks worried, grasping, slightly sweating] We also … like … to …

A pic of me and all my gaming buddies. See? We’re different.

We all have different opinions on power levels! Yes! That’s it! We all have very different opinions on what army is the most cheesy. Oh! And no matter how powerful or usable our army is, we always complain that they aren’t powerful enough.

[***internal error*** Honesty reaching critical levels]

I Love Competitive Types

We have a great many different types of players too. We have the competitive players who really enjoy the complex strategy in list building. They also enjoy the complex tactics needed to accomplish their mission. While some say that they just use other people’s Net Lists, you can’t be sure about that. I mean, somebody had to make that list, why couldn’t it have been your friend John who will eat anything given to him on a $5 bet? Surely, just because he will eat an entire stick of chapstick for a $5 bill doesn’t mean he couldn’t be smart enough to make a really great Death Star list? Plus, even if they do use someone’s else’s list, it still take strategy to use it properly. And if this is a game that you should take seriously, why not use the best weapons (read: lists) around?

Gosh, John. Really? We’re doing this again?

And the other side of this amazing world of hobbying is the fluff players. They really enjoy playing games that tell a story like in the fluff of the game. They also really enjoy taking models that aren’t the most effective and often don’t care if they win or lose. Which may seem odd at first, but you have to understand that these players want to play out a movie in their head of what happens on the board, because they don’t have Netflix. These poor saps are often off-the-grid kind of people who are borderline Amish. (I hope I don’t piss of our huge Amish demographic of readers and players.)

[***internal error*** Honesty tanks full, venting Honesty now]

I Can’t Hold It In Any Longer!

This game is what you make of it you can have fun or have a terrible time it depends on what you do with it and there is no wrong way to play this game it is a game and if it makes you mad you should either stop playing or re-evaluate what it is that actually makes you happy about this game because life is too short to actually be mad about a silly game with toys is just crazy with politics, wars, famine, crime, and all the other terrible things in the world just be happy that your life is good enough to only have a silly game to worry about and another thing I am exciting about this new edition but after seeing some of the down right broken things that are in AOS I have some serious reservations about their ability to make things balanced but at this point even if they mess some of it up I think that it will still be better overall or at least I hope so call me cautiously super-excited.

Well, I couldn’t do it. You see, it’s not all negative, it’s just honestly how I see things. I do pick on Competitive types more than fluff types because in my eyes this is a game and should not be taken so seriously. But of course there is no “right way” to play this game. So play it how you want to.

I wonder what pills I ate? It’s like Frankenstein’s Monster down there.

~Wouldn’t you just call all-happy articles Fanboy posts?

Pimpcron signature 3

2017 Shorehammer Button for BoLS
  • Nyyppä

    PC quality proof. As always. Loving it.

    • Thanks Nyyppa! I tried to change it up, but failed.

      • Nyyppä

        Never change!

  • denzark

    I really dislike adverts with ‘zany’ babies. You want to sell me nappies for babies to crap in, fine, just please don’t try and tell me they are zany by making them wear stupid hats or giggle lots of react with masses of character to Mummy. Babies are crapping and crying machines who cost too much money and sleep. There is something about a Pimpcron article that is more than just reminiscent of a ‘zany baby advert’. The funniness levels are getting to the point of that late lamented Goat Boy cartoon. Howsabout less zane and more kill maim burn?

    • You’re not going to believe me, but Zany is actually my middle name. I hate my parents.

    • memitchell

      Babies are cool! And, they don’t leave the Jacuzzi on for a week like my teenage daughter did (that cost about 3 Start Collecting boxes).

      • dave long island

        Wait, the Jacuzzi cost 3 start collecting boxes, or your daughter did? … Or were you paying for 3 weeks of nonstop Jacuzzi use? Hmmmm… Well, whichever way, whether it was a good deal or not would depend on which start collecting boxes you traded… lol

        • memitchell

          No, silly! I measure ALL expenditures in terms of Start Collecting Box costs. It takes .66 Start Collecting Box costs to gas up my minivan. And, obviously, I’m NOT talking about Tau Start Collecting Box costs, cause Tau suck. And, speaking of females (Pimpcron), you know how you agonized over buying that second Imperial Knight? Well, that cost about ONE of my (and your) wife’s haircuts with highlights.

          • dave long island

            LOL… Measuring costs by start collecting boxes, haw haw!! I love that! 🙂

  • Hendrik Booraem VI

    I’m glad to see someone at least acknowledge that there are broken things in AoS. I’ll keep playing Warhammer, I’m sure, even if they change the system. But those who say “it’ll fix everything that’s wrong with WH40K” are either fools or knaves.

    • Fergie0044

      I don’t play AoS – what sort of things do you mean? Genuinely curious if it will provide any foresight on 8th edition.
      And if we see the rules/points tweaked ever year surely this will prevent things from getting too bad?
      Ack dammit, I’m getting too hopeful!

      • ZeeLobby

        Supposedly they’re still trying to figure out a way to make summoning work. There’s also some imbalance in the factions, though it’s not huge, thanks to probably the simplicity of the ruleset. Finally Order I’d just simply overly supported, but they’re like the Imperials of AoS. It’s not like there wont be 800 SM releases in the next couple years.

        • I like Aos (minus the random turn order) but Death is the ugly stepchild. They feel really weak.

          • ZeeLobby

            I mean this is something GW REALLY want’s to address. Our current Tyranid player is excited for 8th, but at the same time is totally expecting to have to wait 5/6 years before getting anything new. Why they haven’t changed to splash releases for each faction throughout the year is beyond me.

          • Xodis

            Thats because they are incomplete. They have gotten ZERO love in AoS.

          • They did get Flesh Eater Courts which is a pretty good book, but no new models. And that is only a fraction of the alliance.

          • Xodis

            Yeash I classify that as a re-release and dont count that as love. The rumors following the new AoS “boardgame” with the new death units might count though.

          • Nocturus

            That’s sad. I was a Vampire Counts/Tomb Kings fan when I played WFB, and their lack of support in AoS is why I’ve never dipped my toes in.

          • DaveTycho

            If only it was that easy to beat Death in real life!

        • Fergie0044

          Summoning is an easy solution – get rid of it! Even as a chaos player I just ally in demons and then deepstrike them as ‘summoning’.

          • ZeeLobby

            Oh, I mean I’m not saying it’s even necessary, but it’s currently an issue with the game. I like the idea of summoning during a battle. They just need to find a mechanic that actually works.

        • Xodis

          Summoning isn’t broken, it just can’t be what people want it to be. When every unit is made “good” summoning new units gives you a major advantage over your opponent. So Summoning works best as a Deep Strike mechanic, and they should allow the Summoners to be Homing Beacons, but give the players a chance to summon creatures far away at a risk.

          • ZeeLobby

            I consider anything not currently working as is to be broken. Doesn’t necessarily have to be OP or UP. In this case I think it’d actually be brokenly UP.

          • Xodis

            Ah, in that case you are right. Those who want to summon an unlimited number of points and just face roll the opponent are just going to have to get over it. I can only see Summoning being balanced as a Deep Strike maneuver, anything else just seems OP.

          • ZeeLobby

            What about summoning in it’s original incarnation? You’re limited in bringing dead units back, or bringing back new units of generally weak/small units more for positioning/blocking/etc.? I actually really liked those mechanics in WHFB.

          • Xodis

            See that to me seems like I just added another *insert unit price here* points to my army. It made sense back when there were some garbage units that were just good for dying and getting in the way, when ever the worst unit can take out the best unit though….it seems OP.

            Now if they MADE some trash units that were just for summoning (chaos bats, Death spooks, Stormcast faeries, etc…) now that could work out.

            Imagine me charging head first with my Bloodthrister and wiping out half of your elite army before you take him down….then me just popping him back up…Even I dont want to do that and its my army lol

        • Muninwing

          summoning has been a mess in 40k and AoS since they allowed new unpaid-for units. allowing such units to then generate psychic powers or spells only magnifies the issue.

          way back in 4th, CSM could summon daemons. the daemons were part of the list, and ONLY paid-for units could be brought on the board. Plus they could only enter through an Icon. it was pretty balanced, because it added versatility but added urgency due to unsummonable units never entering play.

          i watched a summon-heavy Word Bearers player have his one on-table unit get ordnanced out of existence, and auto-lose back in the days when you could still play if there were no models on the board.

        • Sebastien Bazinet

          They should send Beastmen to the Destruction faction IMHO. Chaos already has a lot and I think Beastmen fit destruction more than chaos

          • ZeeLobby

            I agree. It’d give them more options as well.

        • Shawn

          Hey Zee, in case you missed the email and all, you are now the owner of Shadow Wars Armegeddon. Just thought I’d pass that along.

          • ZeeLobby

            You’re the best man. Thanks!

          • Shawn

            No problem. If you check your email, I’ve given a couple of more details.

      • Dawnstone

        The balance is for sure better overall in AOS, but there are some rules that are just kinda ridiculous. I once played a Death vs Death game in which Arkhan the Black deleted Nagash (nearly 1000 points) on turn one with a single lucky Curse of Years spell…

  • ZeeLobby

    Haha. Touche. I do have to at least say that 6th and 7th we’re the first time I’ve ever had opponents admit their list was cheesy before the game even started. That has to say something about the current state of the game. These were the same guys who saw nothing wrong with wound allocation and nob bikers.

    As a casual competitive I just want them to bring 40K back down to reality. I just want a game not driven by the latest 12″ tall model, or unit removal shovels. Hopefully 8th can do these things. And finally we are at least involved in balancing the game, even if it does start as a total cluster.

    • Like I said, I am super excited for this new edition. But when I saw that a lascannon can do D6 damage and -3 save. And the (at first) impressive stats of a Dreadnaught was 6 wounds and 3+ save. That means on a 3+ the cannon hits, on a 2+ it wounds the Dreadnaught, and the Dreadnaught gets a 6+ save (as far as we currently understand it) and could be insta-killed by one lascannon. Now try a Devastator squad of 4 of those. I don’t think people will be so happy with how “awesome” dreadnaughts will be. I was pumped for dreadnaughts before seeing lascannon stats. I have very little faith in them as a gaming company. They don’t do balance very well.

      • No-one Special

        Yeah, I noticed that too – you’ll see every marine combat squad having a lascannon hiding in it splatting things all game, and devvie squads will be downright terrifying.
        You just have to hope they will all be appropriately pointed, with Dreads treated more like large infantry and Lascannon’s as very expensive weapons of doom.

        • Yes. I was saying that with a friend yesterday, the only possible saving grace may be points. if a Dreadnaught is 100 points and lascannon is 50 points each or something, then it might be fair. If not. LAAAASSSSSSPPPAAAMMMM.

          • No-one Special

            And that’s just Lascannons – there’s bigger/better AT guns out there. Tau Rail guns, Vanquisher cannons, Melta guns etc.
            Even if they do point them to compensate, I don’t think they’ve adequately accounted for the sheer number of wounds a vehicle can very easily suffer in a turn, especially now that anything can wound anything.
            It’s just like how they underestimated that giving vehicles HP would bring them into the damage potential range of weapons you would have previosuly not bothered shooting at them.
            I do wonder who’s been responsible for their 40k playtesting over the years, they really must not like vehicles much.

          • I am making my own Skirmish game with only about 15 pages total of rules, and I’ve been playtesting it for A YEAR to balance it. I highly doubt they took that much time with any of their products. I played a friend in AoS a couple weeks ago who dished out 18 MORTAL wounds each turn on 2+s. That insta-kills pretty much anything. If they think that’s balanced, then they are crazy. But overall hopefully the game will be better. But it won’t be perfect.

          • ZeeLobby

            :O. I didn’t know you were writing rules. Hopefully they’ll be ready to go soon, I’d def be interested in taking a look. That’s pretty awesome!

            And yeah, haha. When I heard they’d playtested 8th with LVO guys, etc. I was like yeah… I mean the ITC was a great attempt at fixing the game, but it was community sourced for the most part. It’s not like any of those crew were ever crushing tournaments left and right either, they had a pulse on the meta, but it was always reactive.

            In the end I have no doubt that WMH was playtested for 3 years, but a playerbase that’s thousands plus will easily find 20 things a playtest team never expected on day one. Not saying playtesting is a bad thing, it really NEEDS to be done. But anyone expecting 40K to be balanced because of it is just crazy. I really think it’s the sheer number of factions and units at this point. Don’t know if it’ll ever be manageable again.

            Now for narrative or fluff players, it probably doesn’t matter that much. Sorry for the wall of text, haha.

          • euansmith

            If you are on facebook, you can check out “Brutality Skirmish Wargame”. It is much fun.

          • memitchell

            Anyone who has participated in remote sight playtesting (of ANY game) will tell you it has limitations. Playtesting is NOT overrated. But, gamer’s expectations of playtesting are often unrealistic.

          • ZeeLobby

            Yeah. Which is OK. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It might just be shocking because this is the first time GW has really even mentioned it in regards to 40K. Even back my when friends dad worked for the company (the saner days of 3-5th) they only did a limited amount of internal playtesting.

          • memitchell

            Realistically, a thorough playtesting of a new codex would take forever (not counting editing). And, not necessarily yield a significantly better product. A few “issues” are probably acceptable, compared to months of manhours. And, again, even extensive playtesting does not necessarily make for a perfect product. On top of that, errata and FAQ’s are not perfect, either.

          • ZeeLobby

            Yeah, I mean in our current world, mass data collection and analysis of player results would probably be the best way to do it. Maybe with like fractional points costs up/down. You could automate it, but then you might not end up with what would be considered a ‘fun’ game. Would be interesting to do.

          • Thanks! We are in beta right now, but I feel like it’s almost ready for release. I’m currently making a huge 8000×8000 square map of the setting. I love maps.

          • ZeeLobby

            Haha. maps are pretty awesome. Well let you better post an article or let me know when it’s ready, haha. Would love to check it out.

          • Thanks! It’s free rules, use your own models. But the backstory supports all of that. Any model any genre. I think it’s a neat concept. It has made me buy tons of non-GW models for fun. I’m sure I’ll post an article about it. And I’m pretty sure you’re here every week, so you should see it. 😀

          • Shawn

            That’s pretty cool Pimpcron. This Is Not A Test, is a model neutral game. It’s a skirmish game that allows you to use whatever models you have. http://worldsendpublishing.com/

            The first game I played I used space marines and a fenrisian wolf.

          • Neat! It seems like I’ve heard of that, but never seen it. I’ll take a look!

          • euansmith

            There might be something we haven’t seen yet that mitigates these issues… fingers and toes crossed.

      • ZeeLobby

        Yeah. Agreed. And just that randomness in general turns me off from some of the stuff I’ve seen. I mean the damage for each weapon is so swingy, I’m not sure how they’ll ever be accurately costed. I don’t understand why GW can’t just say “it does 2 wounds” and then adjust the points cost or the number of wounds done later if it’s too weak/too strong. It’s like they rely on the total unpredictability of their rules to avoid having to defend their choices? (I honestly don’t know why they do it as even that sounds crazy, haha).

        • Fergie0044

          It does work out that way in reality as strange as it seems. Look at a AP anti tank round in WW2. Sometimes they would just go straight through the tank and out the other side causing little actual damage, except for the two new holes in its hull. Sure that leaves an exploitable weakness but it doesn’t stop the tank from moving/shooting etc.

          But then that same AP could have destroyed the engine, killed the crew, ignited fuel or ammo etc. War is random. And really hard to balance. :p

          • ZeeLobby

            True, but war games are really more high level than actual war. It’s based on the statistical outcome of war, hence the points, value, and lethality of a unit, over the actual events of a game. I understand that random aspects are important. I mean a game with set outcomes and no dice would be rather dull. It’s just the sheer amount of randomness which dilutes the depth of a game. 2D6 to charge for example just seems unrealistic. It makes sense that charges can be variable depending on how tired the unit is, terrain, etc. But the chance that they’ll go 2″ vs 12″ is just a ridiculous swing.

      • Fergie0044

        7th Edition: A marine hits with a lascannon on 3+, penetrates a dreadnaught on a 3+, rolls a 6 on the vehicle damage chart and insta-kills it.

        8th Edition (maybe): A marine hits with a lascannon on 3+, wounds a dreadnaught on a 3+, rolls a 6 for damage and insta-kills it.

        Oh no wait, the dreadnaught now gets a 6+ save. Totally different.

        • ZeeLobby

          Where’d you get wound on 3? Plus it def used to pen on 4. Where are you getting these numbers?!?!?!

          • Fergie0044

            Right you are, I’ll edit that.

            The 3+ to wound is just a guess. Strength 9 vs toughness 7. Sure that’d be 2+ normally but I’m expecting the to wound chart to change.

          • ZeeLobby

            Haha. K. I mean right now we have to assume it’s a 2+. There’s nothing that indicates that the wound chart is changing, and we kind of have to base it off what we have now. That said, it looks like dreadnought survivability has still gone down, which is pretty disappointing.

          • Fergie0044

            Eh, a lascannon is a dedicated anti-single model weapon. (assuming damage is only per model and not per unit – has that been clarified?) so giving it a 1/6 opportunity to one shot a medium vehicle seems alright in theory. Of course theory rarely works out in game!
            I’m sure there’ll be some way to spam them and then use command points to re-roll the damage dice etc etc

          • ZeeLobby

            Yeah. In the end I think people just desired survivability to increase for dreads. Maybe points will reveal an elegant switch (lascannons being much more expensive for example), but as of right now, they kind of look unnecessary again, haha.

          • Fergie0044

            For such a cool iconic unit you think GW would throw them a bone.

            Plenty of settings have SM or equivalent but where else can you find stompy smashy coffins warriors?!?

          • ZeeLobby

            Yeah. It’s a shame. The history of some units in 40K are just that wildly swing from OP to UP each edition. There was a time when dreads were great. They really are iconic on the battle field. You just don’t see them anymore, and sadly, unless they’re dirt cheap, I doubt you’ll see more soon. This is all based on a large number of unknowns ofcourse.

          • Fergie0044

            I’ve only been playing for 3 years so this will be the first major shift I’ve witnessed first hand. Dunno how it’s going to play out but I’m all for a total faction re-boot of codexs to help level the playing field.

          • ZeeLobby

            Yeah. It’s normally not NEARLY as bad as these past 2 editions. This was the first time I basically stopped playing and found other systems (which is great because there are a lot of other fun systems out there). 5th edition was probably my favorite. No ally, no crazy shenanigans. The worst rule was being able to allocate one wound to each model before adding the next. All they really needed to do was fix this. The core rules for movement, shooting, combat, etc. were all fine. And then you had appocalypse as a separate system if you wanted SHs, GMCs, formations, etc.

            It was really the perfect combination.

      • Defenestratus

        I thought the Dreadnought had 8 wounds in its profile.

        People have this notion in their heads about how “good” dreadnoughts are supposed to be. It’s the endless hype train. Its the Half Life 3 of 40k – the reality of the dreadnought will never match its expectation I feel.

        Not when its possible to buy 10+ of them in a 1500pt list.

        • Nik Dixon

          Is it dreadnaught or dreadnought?

          • euansmith

            “Dreadnaught” means to fear nothing; while “Dreadnought” is a class of obsolete battleship. The Space Marine Womblebots are named after the battleship.

          • Matthew Pomeroy

            Womblebot is a great description 😀 thanks for that!

          • Tiernoc
        • Matt Halkos

          It does, I don’t know why they keep saying 6.

        • No-one Special

          It’s because Dreadnoughts have been made successively worse through the various editions of 40k. They used to have such rules like you could only hit their side/rear armour if they were immobilised, or back in 2nd edition every weapon option had an extra rule to set it apart from the man portable versions like: Multimeltas could be used as heavy flamers, lascannon’s were more accurate, assault cannons had less chance of jamming/overheating (when that was a thing). And then as vehicles became less duarable in general they suffered even further. Dreads used to be a really good unit once upon a time, and I think people were hoping one of the most popular units in the entire game was getting back to its old self again.

        • I must have been mistaken with the wounds thing. i thought it was 6. 8 is a bit better. And I really love dreads. They should be scary but they aren’t. :/

      • Xodis

        I think the downside to having a squad of Devs with Lascannons will be after vehicles are dead. You can take out a maximum of 4 characters a turn, not to mention they are going to be a highly targeted, possibly a lot of points, and cover could still be a thing.
        Itll be interesting to say the least.

        • Yeah, here’s to hoping they balance it somehow.

  • Farseerer

    Hi Pimpcron, aside from Death not having the same power levels as the other factions, what else do you think is broken in AoS? Genuinely curious. Seems like it has a potential easy fix, if/when GW get around to it. The overall mechanics seem good to me for a skirmish game format.

    • Oh dear. I will reply later because you just opened up a can of scarabs and I gotta leave the house in 5 min. lol. Overall AoS is okay, but from a game design stand-point it has a few major flaws. More later.

      • Farseerer

        Thanks. Enjoy your day buddy

        • Thanks! I got sunburn though. here is my biggest gripe with AoS. The random turn order is a mechanic that only fits an I-go-you-go activation system. When you get to activate A Model first, sure. When it means that you get to activate your entire army two times in a row, that doesn’t make sense. The point behind turns is to represent both armies taking actions at the same time. When you have random turn order like aos, it means that suddenly one entire army moved twice the speed of the other for no reason other than luck. That’s not the way battle works. That would be my biggest gripe. That mechanic doesn’t fit the rest of the game. Also, the Mortal Wound creep has begun in serious order. It’s like every new model dishes out mortal wounds. Also, there is huge disparity between factions when some of them get books (or multiple books like stormcast) and other get none. Those books have lots of formations that make them better which other armies don’t get.

          • They don’t know how to balance models either. You can take two evenly pointed behemoths and one of them could be much better stat-wise. I’ve said it before, they don’t know what balance is. AoS is a fun game, I have four armies. But it isn’t without its faults.

          • Farseerer

            I’m pretty sure the random turn order is not being ported to 40k. Can’t remember where I read it but I think it was on their facebook page.

            You make some good points though. I think involving the community in the play testing (something they havent done in AoS as far as I know) will address some of the balance issues you’ve flagged.

            I can definitely see a constantly shifting meta as factions get their individual codices and inevitable buffs throughout the second half of 2017.

            I think it’s unrealistic to expect something approaching decent balance until the 40k equivalent of the generals handbook comes out probably this time next year.

            Also, be good to your skin mate, you only get one

          • Yeah they aren’t porting that stuff over to 40k, but it shows to me that they are less than balanced with their games. I love their games, don’t get me wrong. But balance is not what they are good at. And yeah, I’m out in the sun everyday, I try to keep up on the sunblock and this year I’m wearing a hat. I hate hats. But I don’t want a carcinoma either.

  • Defenestratus

    Thank goodness Pimpcron is here.. his articles always make me smile.

    • Aw shucks. [blushes]

    • Matthew Pomeroy

      Dont trust a necron who turned to pimpin’ they is scary!

  • vyrago

    “Age of Sigmar rules will never work for 40k” -every 40k player in 2015.

  • Xodis

    I love honesty lol.

    What did you find broken in AoS though?

    • They still don’t know how to balance units and they still have the whole “newest models get the best stats” nonsense. Also, the random turn order is a mechanic that only fits an I-go-you-go activation system. When you get to activate A Model first, sure. When it means that you get to activate your entire army two times in a row, that doesn’t make sense. The point behind turns is to represent both armies taking actions at the same time. When you have random turn order like aos, it means that suddenly one entire army moved twice the speed of the other for no reason other than luck. That’s not the way battle works. They’d also gotten carried away with Mortal Wounds. Remember when there wasn’t much AP2 but now it’s everywhere? That’s the way they treat mortal wounds now. Also, many of their rulebook missions blow. Only Heroes cap objectives? That is nonsense. I have other complaints but I’m tired of typing. lol Those were the first ones that came to mind.

      • Xodis

        Other than a couple models that stick out and I haven’t seen too much power creep really. I will admit that the double turn system needs to go, while not as damaging as would be in 40K, its pretty annoying. I like the missions, they seem more fun then what we see in the 40K campaigns usually, but where are you seeing only Heroes capping objectives? Most pitched battle profiles require only having more models within 6″ than your enemy.
        I’m waiting to see about mortal wounds. While it makes sense that Tzeentch might take advantage of them (because magic), none of the other armies really do, and I dont think any of the armies really do, so the new Cloud Dwarves will hopefully move us back away from only mortal wound attacks.

        • Places of Power? It’s called something like that. It’s in the main rulebook.

          • Xodis

            Ah, yeah, but thats only 1 of the 6 Pitched battles, honestly we usually just play Take and Hold, Blood and Glory, Escalation, or Borderwar. Those are my favorite 4.

  • Muninwing

    ” I used to get angry about price increases, but after playing for so long, I’ve come to enjoy the burn of paying more for something I bought for less! I”

    you do it every day with other products. it’s called inflation.

    over 90% of GW products only have price increases to match with inflation. it looks big because they delay increases (saves them money on printing etc), but then account for many years at once. and the remaining 10% are weird outliers with odd complications.

    cost of materials seems to matter very little in their pricing, which is to be expected for a luxury-level good (like all hobbies are).

    if you expect to pay the same amount for something over the span of ten years, without acknowledging that you are getting a break on the price every year after the first, then of course you’ll feel outrage when it increases. but it’s not necessarily indicative of reality or economy.

  • Shawn

    Very Amusing Pimpcron. However, as a poor fluffly player I can tell you I have Netflix! Also, what’s broken in AoS other than summoning. And, didn’t they fix that already?

    • Overall I like AoS, but random turn order is a pain and doesn’t fit the system. I’ve named a couple other things in other comments below. But some of the Beast Claw raiders stuff and Savage orruk stuff is crazy good above other things of the same points.

      • Shawn

        Gotcha. I have only one regular opponent and he plays Khorne, so I wouldn’t have caught that. I play stormcast eternals.

        • I play Death, Bretonnia, Empire, Stormcast, Khorne, and Lizardmen. But Empire and Death are my biggest. Stormcast has some nasty stuff but isn’t nearly as Op as Beast Claw raiders.

          • Matthew Pomeroy

            I gave AoS a lot of try time, but for me its just a smelly heap of……….granted I do not have the generals handbook, but the initial core 4 page rules IMO were so poorly done the game just wasnt worth it. I can honestly say that my opinion is AoS did exactly nothing right, it was the worst mini game I have seen in over 20 years, baffled that GW could do such a half assed job. I do/did was tomb kings and wood elves, and I am getting rid of them now too. My biggest fear for 40k is it getting more like a game I truly despise and not be what is really “40K”…end of rant.

          • Your fears are founded. But I have 10 armies in 40k. There’s no way that I’m quitting now. Too much invested. So it would have to be really, really bad for me to quit. Plus it’s just a game.

          • Matthew Pomeroy

            I only played a couple in 40k, and really am happy with them. fantasy I had no trouble dumping, cause while i liked the minis for the rpg and love the setting and mass battle, it was hard to get games in. but yeah I get where you are coming from, but still this is a good forum to whine and carry on 😀

          • Whining? That’s like a hobby for me. 😀 I understand.

          • Shawn

            Gotcha. I’m surprised that the Destruction Alliance didn’t fare better then in the campaign that GW hosted.

          • Hmmm. I’m surprised too. I wonder how many people actually played Destruction. Order is always the most particpated like Imperium.

          • Shawn

            Yes, because most smart folk like playing the good guys. Not to worry, I think your one of the good guys, but one necron doesn’t give the rest any better a name.

          • Haha. There is something nice about being the noble army. But death is so cool!

          • Matthew Pomeroy

            cost and popularity does destruction no favors. I think dark elves should have been with them as well. as it stands destruction and death are more just “meh” afterthought factions compared to order and chaos.

          • Shawn

            Possibly. I certainly don’t think as much thought went into them as Stormcast or Khorne. And we haven’t seen any signifcant releases for any Stormcast until Kharadon Overlords, but as far as I’m concerned they don’t count.

          • Matthew Pomeroy

            I am pretty certain that they are taking their time with phasing out all the old warhammer armies for new “AoS” style armies, so I would expect every other month or so some new faction. the main “creep” I see is the old setting stuff being replaced by the new. I will give them credit for at least keeping it around a while.

          • Shawn


          • Yes! Why aren’t Dark Elves in destruction?!

  • Boondox

    Sorry I ever clicked on an article with Pimp Crybaby. Won’t ever happen again…..

    • Matthew Pomeroy

      says the guy with the dark angel in black 😀

    • You’ll come back. Once you have a taste of Mango, they can’t ever get enough. Can you say to the rain, “Hey rain, stop falling?” Such is Mango.

  • Don’t play with my emotions, robot!

  • AX_472

    I’ve played 2 girls out of 7-8 people, that’s not bad. If you have never met a girl you could get into 40k I feel genuinely sorry for you.

    • I’m being honest. I have traveled to several states and played scores of people. Just one girl once. I’ve met a couple women who say they play, but have never seen them. My wife doesn’t like 40k because it’s “too many dice”.