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Pimpcron’s Super Happy Fun Time 40k

6 Minute Read
Apr 28 2017
Warhammer 40K Hot story icon

And people say he’s always so angry …

Hi Friends! The People’s Pimpcron is back this week, and boy am I happy! Ya know, I hear that I complain too much and that sometimes my snarkiness can be a downer. “GW should do this” or “Why do my Nids get left out?” or “Does this look infected?”

Well that is the Pimpcron of the past. Today I woke up early, ate a bunch of pills from a random bottle in my cabinet. Then I drank 4 cups of coffee and watched 2 hours of Power Puff Girls clips of just Bubbles. I’M READY TO BE HAPPY!

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This little guy makes me so happy. Why?

Warhammer Is The Best Game Ever Made

Boy oh boy! This game is just ever-so wonderful and I can’t tell you enough how great it is to be in this hobby with all of you sexy people! I mean, Warhammer is the coolest game because it lets you be creative. Build your models YOUR way and paint your models YOUR way. Make up neat fluffy back stories for your armies and make new friends in the bestest game I’ve ever seen!

And the prices: boy are they reasonable! I mean I used to get angry about price increases, but after playing for so long, I’ve come to enjoy the burn of paying more for something I bought for less! If you don’t eat hot sauce of peppers you wouldn’t understand. Each time you get burned by a pepper of a price hike, your brain releases endorphins to help with the pain. Over time, you begin to like this little shot of happiness. GW is trying to make you happy!

Is he being serious, or sarcastic?! It kind of makes sense though!

[***internal error*** Honesty detected, tone it down Pimp]

This company has a lot of overhead costs and employs a lot of people. Whenever you see them very gently nudge up prices for the same number of models, there is probably some behind the scenes reason for it. You don’t know, it could be exchange rates, new costs, or anything else. You know, they could increase all of the boxes at one time, but they don’t. It seems to me that they have some scheduled format that they use that increases over time and the new models are priced using the “current” price in their formula. You can’t expect any company to keep prices the same forever. And they did recently bring some prices down per model on AoS models by doubling the models per box and not doubling the box price.

And The Players Are Great!

We have such a wonderfully diverse range of players! I mean, we all kind of fit the same demographic, but I played with a female once! I’m not even joking. A decade of playing and I’ve played ONE female, ever. I haven’t even gone to a game store and seen a female play besides that one, that one time.

[***internal error*** Honesty detected, cut it out]

I mean, we are like a veritable Unicef ad! We all come from different back grounds, income levels and … we play different armies. All of us have different skill levels in strategy and painting. [looks worried, grasping, slightly sweating] We also … like … to …

A pic of me and all my gaming buddies. See? We’re different.

We all have different opinions on power levels! Yes! That’s it! We all have very different opinions on what army is the most cheesy. Oh! And no matter how powerful or usable our army is, we always complain that they aren’t powerful enough.

[***internal error*** Honesty reaching critical levels]

I Love Competitive Types

We have a great many different types of players too. We have the competitive players who really enjoy the complex strategy in list building. They also enjoy the complex tactics needed to accomplish their mission. While some say that they just use other people’s Net Lists, you can’t be sure about that. I mean, somebody had to make that list, why couldn’t it have been your friend John who will eat anything given to him on a $5 bet? Surely, just because he will eat an entire stick of chapstick for a $5 bill doesn’t mean he couldn’t be smart enough to make a really great Death Star list? Plus, even if they do use someone’s else’s list, it still take strategy to use it properly. And if this is a game that you should take seriously, why not use the best weapons (read: lists) around?

Gosh, John. Really? We’re doing this again?

And the other side of this amazing world of hobbying is the fluff players. They really enjoy playing games that tell a story like in the fluff of the game. They also really enjoy taking models that aren’t the most effective and often don’t care if they win or lose. Which may seem odd at first, but you have to understand that these players want to play out a movie in their head of what happens on the board, because they don’t have Netflix. These poor saps are often off-the-grid kind of people who are borderline Amish. (I hope I don’t piss of our huge Amish demographic of readers and players.)

[***internal error*** Honesty tanks full, venting Honesty now]

I Can’t Hold It In Any Longer!

This game is what you make of it you can have fun or have a terrible time it depends on what you do with it and there is no wrong way to play this game it is a game and if it makes you mad you should either stop playing or re-evaluate what it is that actually makes you happy about this game because life is too short to actually be mad about a silly game with toys is just crazy with politics, wars, famine, crime, and all the other terrible things in the world just be happy that your life is good enough to only have a silly game to worry about and another thing I am exciting about this new edition but after seeing some of the down right broken things that are in AOS I have some serious reservations about their ability to make things balanced but at this point even if they mess some of it up I think that it will still be better overall or at least I hope so call me cautiously super-excited.

Well, I couldn’t do it. You see, it’s not all negative, it’s just honestly how I see things. I do pick on Competitive types more than fluff types because in my eyes this is a game and should not be taken so seriously. But of course there is no “right way” to play this game. So play it how you want to.

I wonder what pills I ate? It’s like Frankenstein’s Monster down there.

~Wouldn’t you just call all-happy articles Fanboy posts?

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Author: Scott W.
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