Improve Your Life Through Wargaming

Seriously, Pimpcron means it. Make a better life.

Well hello there you wascally wabbits! Tis I, Saint Pimpcron here, to drop some knowledge on your head like a bucket of ice. It might be a shock, and you’ll definitely get chills, but today is the day you look at life differently.

First off, there are only three things in the world that your Pimpcron will not touch with a ten-foot Staff of Light: religion, politics, and ads claiming there are single Necrons in my area. I live in the country! How on Terra is there a lady-bot only a mile from me who is in the mood and is that reckless? I’ll pass thank you, I don’t need a brain virus (robot, remember?).

Any-who… This article is how wargaming can teach you how to be less stressed, plan better, and enjoy life more. First I want to lay down two universal rules to help frame my point.

It’s Not Personal

I hear my parents constantly say “It figures” every time something goes wrong. Rolled high on Leadership? Rolled low on a charge? Equation didn’t come out right? “It figures!” they say. When people say this, it is alluding to the fact that their life is so bad that it figures something bad like this would happen. You pulled out some paper, a pencil and a graphing calculator, stayed up all night and did some figurin’ and the equation works out. Your life sucks and this is par for the course.

And it always figures.

Well guess what buttercup, it doesn’t figure. While I can’t speak to each of your specific life situations, life is not out to get you. Life doesn’t hate you, and it doesn’t like you. Life is a series of seemingly random events, but it isn’t random at all. Everything happens for a huge impossibly-complicated slew of other causes that we can’t wrap our brains around.

The guy who cut you off on the road could be having a bad day, just got divorced, really has to poop, didn’t see you, just lost his job, late for an interview, is just a bad driver, or a hundred million other reasons. For you to get mad that he did this like it was some personal slight is just making the situation worse for yourself. He cut you off, and it’s over now, it is your choice whether you let this situation affect you or not. Whether you get mad at him or not won’t change the situation, he won’t know, and all you’re doing is getting mad at something could have been a simple error.

Life Isn’t Fair

Man, we have all heard that phrase, and it seems the younger generations might need to hear it more. And in your head I’m sure you’re saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that.” But stop for a second and let it sink in, because it is true. Hard work doesn’t always pay off, there isn’t always a happy ending, and sometimes you get stuff for free. Sometimes I think we do a disservice to our children by always trying to make them have a fair life.

“Let your sibling have a try.”

“Hey, don’t be mean.”

“Everyone gets a turn.”

While we are trying to be good to our kids, we are giving them a skewed view of life. Like I said, life doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t like you either. It is as neutral as neutral can be. I just recently had a distributor that I use for work drag their feet when I paid for overnight shipping, my customers were furious and I was the one that had to apologize and grovel. I thought to myself, “This isn’t fair, I did everything right, this isn’t my fault and yet I still have to grovel?” Then I reminded myself, life isn’t fair dude.

So How Can We Learn From Wargaming?

Well, you already have, you probably just haven’t applied it to life yet. Everyone is born with a certain skill set whether it’s looks, talent, or brains. Just like the army you play. We all know that tau and melee don’t mix well, and Daemons and shooting isn’t your best bet. When you’re making your army list of life, take note of what you are good at, and what you aren’t as a person. Maybe you’re a Tau, maybe you’re a Daemon, or a million other combinations. When you make your “list for life” you have to know what you goals are, or your … OBJECTIVES. See what I did? Then you make a list (otherwise known as a plan) that highlights your abilities and minimizes your flaws in order to accomplish your objectives.

I know some people who always roll low, so they tend to take lots of twin-linked and lots of volume of fire to try to mitigate what they aren’t good at. Some people will fail a leadership 10 morale check at any chance, so they take lots of Fearless and the like. Do you see what I’m saying? In life, you can’t ever be sure how the dice will roll, because it isn’t “fair”. So you make a plan around what you are good at, and do your best.

What do I do best? Ron Burgundy impressions. You Pirate Hooker.

Sometimes your Gaurdsmen will kill that Wraithknight, and sometimes your Chapter Master Smash F—er’s Gorgon Chain won’t help at all. And don’t drag yourself through the mud mentally when your Termies all roll 1’s. It’s random and not personal. Keep your chin up, and make a new plan if this one didn’t work out. KEEP TRYING. This applies to romance, your career, parenting and life in general. Don’t keep doing what doesn’t work, and when it doesn’t work, don’t get down about it. Nobody is out to get you, and life certainly doesn’t care either way.

Here’s one last nugget to chew on before I go: There are thousands of stories of how famous people had a rough life, or got rejected a million times before hitting it big. And after every failure, they changed their list and tried again.

And on the topic of happiness: There are poor people out there every day that are as happy as can be and tons of rich people who are miserable. Happiness is an internal choice, regardless of how bad you roll. (Besides actual clinical depression) we have the power to choose to be happy. So do it.

If you just found yourself saying “Yes, but-” or “It doesn’t work that way” during this article, you should realize that it isn’t life holding back, it’s your outlook.

You can do it. The Pimpcron believes in you.

Win a major 40K tournament – Spin again!

Editor’s Extra Bonus: What army best sums up your real life strengths and weaknesses – be honest? 

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  • euansmith

    I have a 1++ re-rollable “Feel No Love” save. :'(

    • Tshiva keln

      Ahh! Well don’t worry buddy, here in the comments section 1s always fail so we love you man!

    • petrow84

      Good news, next edition brings back save modifiers!

    • You know everyone here loves you. Ya big lug.

  • Tshiva keln

    That’s easy for you to say with your logical robot brain and genitalia.

    • Leave my hyper-logical genitalia out of this!

  • Tshiva keln

    Think I’m an ork. The edition of life hasn’t been kind but I’m hopeful for change. I may fail at most things but I have fun doing it. Then there’s the hygiene issues…

    • orionburn

      I’d say Tyranids. I’m the strong and silent type. Despite all the coolness surrounding me people haven’t wanted to play with me very much for the past few years, though. Once you get to know us, err, me, I’m a really great guy. Something just seems to turn off the ladies when I ask them to come back to my place for their biomass to be digested in a pool. Not sure why.

    • Graham Bartram

      I must be a tech priest. I’m a tech obsessive craftsman devoid of true emotion beyond my own work and I don’t have a car. 😉 Praise the machine.

  • Richard Acock

    You are a star Pimpcron. Awesome post

    • Aw, thanks Richard! And thank you for reading my stuff. 😀

  • Deacon Ix

    I’ve always worked on the principle that everyone is an idiot, including myself, someone cuts you up – there an idiot, but can you honestly say that you have never, however unintentionally, made someone have to brake hard for some reason? Then your an idiot too (from their perspective) 😀 It has made me a lot more relaxed.
    That and realising that now I’m an adult I get to define what that entails, and if it means making, painting and playing with toy soldiers then so be it.

    • That’s a good way of thinking, whatever helps you be happier and more understanding.

  • orionburn

    Adding to the “It’s not personal” – for the love of God I wish people wouldn’t take every thing that GW does personally. Don’t agree with a decision they made? Rage on the internet because they’re totally making their business decisions just to ruin your life. Agree with a decision GW made? You’re on their payroll and nothing but an apologist.

    I’ve enjoyed the GW world for around 20 years now. It certainly has had its ups & downs, and I’ve been in/out of the hobby many times. At the end of the day it is still a game. Don’t like what they’re doing? Then stop playing. I’m never going to understand the rage of those that deliberately want to see people do things to try and make a company fail. Might be time to get over that girl from the 6th grade that circled no on your “will you go out with me?” note.

    • There is a lot of sunk cost involved. At the moment I don’t currently play GW’s games, but I still have about $1k worth of models (and a ton of time) sitting on my shelf. What GW does effects the return I get on what I invested in those models. Even if I play other games or stop buying new GW models, what GW does matters to me. I’ve largely let that go now. I’ve written it off as a bad decision. I will never spend the money on a single game that I spent on 40k again. It was foolish to give one company that much control over my hobby. But not everybody can let things go that easy. For some it’s an open wound that refuses to close.
      At least those people have a reason, even if it’s not a good one in your opinion, to be angry. The most appalling things I’ve seen said on this site are usually said in “defense” of GW. Not in defense of the game, mind, but in defense of the corporation. While it’s understandable that there would be a few bad eggs, seeing GW fans cheer these people on while they insult and demean someone over slight to the game has confused me. After all, it’s just a game.

      • orionburn

        It definitely goes both ways. There certainly are those that lick the boots of GW and think they can do no wrong and go after those that say anything negative. On the other side are those that call everybody boot lickers because they made a positive comment on anything related to GW.

        This is an expensive game/hobby to get into. There’s no doubt about that. Despite some bad editions/rules over the years I’ve always found a way to enjoy the game. Whether it’s house rules or finding guys that are willing play off the cuff to make the game enjoyable.

        Either way I still don’t get the absolute rage that some have. Am I p.o.’d that my expensive Forge World book is obsolete after finally getting it only 4 months ago? Yep. It seriously sucks and we all get burned from time to time. But if I continue to play the game, buy books that I know will be invalidated at some point, and add even more models to my collection then that’s on me.

  • benn grimm

    Dark Eldar for me, I’m an evil bstard, love fast vehicles, crazy hair and injure easily… no, it’s not a great combination…;)

  • Drew

    I’m a Space Wolf for sure- want to be a hero, fight hard for what I believe in, and (I think) usually a very decent guy…but every once in a while, Horus changes the marching orders, I don’t double-check thoroughly enough, and I end up making a terrible mistake. Sometimes, I’m big enough to admit it afterwards…other times… =)