Pimpcron finally breaks the Davinci Code of GW’s “recklessness”.
Well, here we are again. Ya know I’ve been doing this for almost 3 ½ years and 2 ½ at BoLS? After all this time you’d think I’d remember how to do this, but for some reason I don’t. What is it you want from me? Ah, I usually introduce myself in some strange way before getting to my point. Hmm. Okay, off the top of my head, let’s do it.
Hellooooooo my friends I’ve never met! Today is a good day to be devotee of the Pimpcron because why? BECAUSE EVERYDAY IS A GOOD DAY TO BE A CULTIST OF THE PIMP! I see that twitch in your eye and itch in the front of your cortex. You yearn for the sickeningly sweet literary nectar of the one, and the ONLY Pimpicus Cronicus. Well slap that vein and sit back my friend, let’s get stoked!
Pimpcron Articles: Not even once.
I was thinking about the recent spam issues when I realized that Games Workshop has always had this problem. Every new codex, every new edition, they have some codices and units that are totally gnarly bruh! Like they are head and shoulders over the others, and most people attribute it to sloppy rules writing. But if this “problem” is persistent over literally 30+ years of a game, it isn’t a problem they have, it’s a strategy.
Think back to all of the spams: the Leaf Blowers, Jetbike orgies, the Storm Raven flocks, the Tzeentch Flamer wild fires, and the list goes on. Now think back to the rotation of armies that have been on top and have at another point been at the bottom. Nearly all of them at some point. I remember Dark Eldar being really nasty at the end of the 5th, followed by a bunch of years of meh. Eldar was below average for a decade until they suddenly weren’t.
And to all of us proles , it seems like “poor GW, they just don’t understand balance”.
Pictured: GW wearing a Canadian mask for some reason.
Let’s use my jerk-faced, uber-cheese-loving, holier than thou, super condescending, stupid, ugly, total a-hole friend Steve as a real life example. Besides all of those things I said, he’s an alright guy. In 5th edition, Blood Angel cheese reigned supreme. And guess what army he bought a ton of? That’s right, Blood Angels. And the last couple years have been quite …sad for him.
In 5th edition, there was a FAQ or something that made Tzeentch Flamers totally wicked, like more than a daemon should be. They were AP 3 or some stupid mess. What did my a-hole friend Steve do? Went out and bought like 40 Flamers, only to have it nerfed when the next daemon Codex came out.
At the end of 5th edition, the Necron book came out and was like technically the first of the 6th edition books because 6th came shortly after. Necrons went from silly Phase Out nonsense and roughly 6 unit options to a whole army worth of pain (minus Flayed Ones, they still sucked even though I still played them and loved them). I will give you exactly one guess as to which army my WAAC friend Steve bought $1,000+ of? That’s right, Tau. I mean Necrons! Yeah it was Necrons he bought into.
Not this Steve. This Steve could do no wrong. *sniff*
What an ass. Anything that was suddenly good was suddenly his. I hope he reads this, because despite being friends, he knows what I think of him. Ah, he’s alright.
Under the guise of sloppy rules writing, they have been creating demand for their products at different times due to the sudden rise in power or lowering of points. I’m sure they had a hard time selling Flayed Ones before the 6th edition book, so now they are awesome, and even better in this edition. There are a hundred examples of this over the years.
And GW has said time and time again that they are fluff players, and have had almost no interaction with the tournament scene for years and years. So to all of you fluff players out there, who generally don’t like WAAC players, if you ran the company, wouldn’t you troll them? Make them pay for always chasing the newest, shiniest thing. I feel like this is what our pals Gee-Dub has been doing.
Don’t ask specifics, but this how I figured all of this out.
If everything was balanced all the time, you could argue that everything would sell equally. But if different things are better or worse at different times, then you sell much more overall. Let’s say you buy the new hotness, then it stops being hot and you move onto the next hotness. You don’t get to sell the model back to them, you’re stuck with it. So they have your money and you’ll never get it back. But then you run out and buy the next new thing until it becomes useless in your eyes as it inevitably will.
Plus, fluff and casual players will always buy models, even if they aren’t the best. Like my 40 metal Flayed Ones I owned before they were good. I knew it was a penalty every time I took them, but I loved them and took them anyway. So by not making them good, they didn’t lose my money, they just diverted the WAAC money to something else for a time. But eventually, the pendulum will swing back around and the WAAC players will buy the Flayed Ones again when they are good (like now).
Think About It, Am I Wrong?
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