Pimpcron: How Eldar Make Me A Robot Racist

Welcome to Pimpcron articles, where he blows things out of proportion.

Hi ya, hi ya, hi ya all of my favorite people. Despite your best efforts, you’re back here again reading my jibberish. Sorry, there has been no methadone developed to ease people off the addicting words of the Pimpcron. Most of the world now struggles each week with their love affair with me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway. So let me preface this with some real talk. I love all humans, they’re delicious! Seriously though, I am not the type of person to be proud just because I happened to be born a certain race. I truly feel like the average human around the world is just a regular person, who wants to enjoy their life and not be bothered. There has always been this argument of whether we are inherently bad or good, but I have a different take.

I was gonna rob my neighbor, but … I don’t know … a show is on.

The Pimpcron has always said that most humans are lazy opportunists but not directly out to screw you. Leave your wallet nearby and they will take the cash, but they won’t actually go to the trouble of robbing you. The thing I hate in the world is jerks, so I don’t care what race you are or where you came from, if you’re a douche, then I don’t like you.

So racism, just to be clear, is judging someone immediately and unfairly solely based on their race. There are a million ways to judge someone but we will just use this as an example.

Here’s What Got Me Thinking

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that most of us have pre-determined opinions of certain armies. Many people including the Pimpcron don’t care for Tau or Eldar. You meet a new person who plays 40k and the first thing out of their mouth is “I only play Eldar”. I simply can’t help it, no matter how nice the person is, I instantly have a tiny feeling in the back of my head that they may have jumped on the bandwagon when Eldar were really hot. I have tried so hard to get this thought out of my head, but it always creeps in when I think of Tau or Eldar Players. “Oh, this guy is probably just playing them because he thinks they are an easy win.”

This is a button I found on the back of the WraithKnight.

I played in 5th edition when Grey Knights and Blood Angels were all the rage, and scores of my friends jumped on that bandwagon. I had a friend change his whole army over from Space Wolves over to Blood Angels because he thought it would be an easy win. It didn’t help his win record. At any rate, GK and BA players had to deal with that back then, even if they weren’t a bandwagon jumper.

I know it’s not fair, but I can’t help it. That’s when I realized that this line of thinking is a lot like racism. No matter how accurate it may or may not be, you shouldn’t just judge people by face-value stuff. Play a game or two with that person and see if they only bring cheese, or if they just want to have fun. I have my eye cautiously on the Nid community with the advent of 8th edition. It seems like Nids are all the rage now, and I think my brain is quietly forming more assumptions.

It Never Occurred To Me Before

I am a little surprised at how easy it is to make mental correlations with people and “what they are” as a person. Who would think that just by choosing an army, people could be assuming things about you? I judge people by the way the act, not the way they look, generally. So when this thought popped in my head, I thought it was really interesting. Are humans wired to be this way and have biases on nearly every topic? I mean, you see an older man dating a young woman and you probably instantly think “sugar daddy”. You see a young person in a really expensive sports car and you either think “parent’s money” or “not his car”.

At first, this seems unfair, but as I’ve said before, stereotypes are just a way of categorizing ideas in your head. It doesn’t mean they are right all the time, but your brain has collected data and found certain correlations through the veil of your point of view. So it is very uncommon for a young woman to be genuinely attracted to an old man, and most young people don’t have the money for an expensive car. Those are the results of your lifetime of trying to figure out the world. Could that man and woman be totally in love and he’s not rich? Sure. Can that young person actually be some genius CEO of a tech company he made? Sure. But the odds are, that is not the case in either situation.

“Hahahaha. Like that could ever happen Pimpcron.”

But like I said, it is data collected and arranged according to your point of view which is way subjective. Let’s say you had never met someone who likes vanilla ice cream before in your entire life. You meet someone who loves vanilla ice cream, but they smell, and are a total jerk. Then introduce you to two of their smelly, jerk friends who love vanilla ice cream too. You’re gonna have to come to the conclusion that all people who like vanilla ice cream are mean and smell funny. That is, unless you start meeting non-smelly vanilla lovers.

Then I Realized Something Else

In the epitome of all ironies, I just had an epiphany. There is a negative stereotype about stereotypes! Oh, dear Lord. That is funny. Our gut reaction when we hear “stereotype” is that it is a negative one and that stereotypes are bad. But literally everyone does it naturally. So of course it isn’t “fair” to judge people prematurely, but it is something we do based on what we’ve seen.

And you some that you didn’t want to see.

I mean, I play Necrons and they have a nasty reputation. I don’t play them hard, but I get lumped in with the WAAC group. But here’s how you really tell if someone is a bandwagon jumper: how long they have played. I’ve played Necrons since when they still have “Phase Out” and weren’t really good. If someone plays a tough army and has played them since before they were good, then you’re probably safe. If they played since they were good, you’ll have to wait and see.

But I guess my point of this whole, long, drawn-out article, is that …

Us Necrons are best.

Just kidding, but we both know it’s true.

Pimpcron signature 3

2017 Shorehammer Button for BoLS
  • Andy Wise

    You’re playing with fire here Pimp, semi political commentary + 40K forum = ripe potential for a range of strongly held views.

    [sits back, opens large bag of popcorn]

    • Pimpcron

      I’m either too brave or too fool-hearty to avoid touchy subjects. I haven’t decided which.

      • Andy Wise

        There’s a third option; that you simply don’t care what others think of you. I hope that’s not the case, it would seem to be an awfully lonely way to live.

        • Pimpcron

          To be entirely honest, the third option is what it is. As I’ve matured as a public writer, I have been called every name in the book, and it used to actually give me stress and anxiety (3.5 years ago when I started). I’m too comfortable with myself now (flaws an all) to really care what anybody outside of family, friends, and real-life customers think me. I like to bring up touchy subjects and get people talking and thinking, and you’d be shocked at how much of my quite-dark humor gets censored out by the editors. lol. Come on, my pen name is Pimpcron. How serious can I be taking myself? I certainly can’t take other people seriously. It’s not lonely at all, it’s freedom.

  • euansmith

    Given that our brains filter everything and constructs a model of the Universe inside our tiny skulls, stereotypes are just a by-product of our coping mechanism. If I see a dark coloured blob in my peripheral vision, my brain processes it as a black cat; it is only on a second look that I correctly identify it as a shadow, bin bag or giant Rad-spider.

    Of course, recognising ones own prejudices is important and acting against them.

    • Me

      Yeah, and confusing black cats with giant Rad-spiders is probably not healthy.

  • Thomson

    It basically boils down to tribalism. It is always us vs. them. We are all a bunch of cavemen (and women) who want to protect our tribe and see everything else as evil. Truth, facts, evidence or any other inconvienent things like that do not matter.

    Our brain constantly works to find reasons for us to beleive that *we* are better than *them*.

    Just look up Robbers Cave Experiment.

  • Fergie0044

    I do dislike Eldar as an army, but that’s purely based on their aesthetic, which does not appeal to me at all. Even in the original DoW game (my first taste of 40k) I disliked them. Does that make me space elf racist?

    • Xodis

      Yes. Yes it does. Elfist.

    • Defenestratus

      You just hate us because you’re not us!

  • Mathew G. Smith

    Don’t hate them because they’re powerful, hate them because they’re elves.

  • Lee Ashford

    You briefly touched on it with the negative about stereotypes thing.

    Positive stereotypes, nurses are caring people, Canadians are lovely etc…

    So in 40k (old) Ork players must really like the fluff, Space Wolf players have killer beards and quaff beer all game. I wanted to be Andy Chambers growing up 😂

  • Emprah

    Around Elves watch yourselves!

    • Graham Bartram

      …and don’t pick up the soap.

  • orionburn

    As a Dark Angles player I can safely say there has been no bandwagons rolling by The Rock.

    As a Nids players I’ve only started to play them in 8th, mainly because of all the problems with 7th and held off while I actually got everything painted. But it doesn’t really matter because as Nids we just eat the bandwagons along with all the people on it. 😀

    • euansmith

      I’ve been tempted by both Nids and Crons as they look to be a doddle to paint.

      • orionburn

        I like the rowbutts too. I’ve always wanted to build up a Necron army and AdMech. Unfortunately my wallet keeps telling me no. 🙁

        Nids were the worst assembly line painting ever. Love doing the big guys, but after doing 60 Termagants you start to question your will to live.

        • Mr_Pickles

          I feel that way about Orks, The Green Tide sounded great and because of 5th ed. starter set, there were tons of cheap boyz on ebay…. lining up 300 models on the paint table though…

      • Xodis

        Crons are amazing. I bought a bottle of that paint that changes colors from different angles, its amazing the freedom you get with soldiers that are suppose to look metal.

        • euansmith

          Ooh, the Opalescent Order of C’thong.

        • Me

          What is the brand/name of that paint?

          • Xodis

            Alclad2.com

          • Me

            Thank you!

          • Xodis

            No prob. Happy to help

  • Its fairly natural for players of the game who are more concentrated on the game aspect to chase around what is the most powerful, so that they can win games easier. Or at the very least, when they lose they won’t feel its because their army list was subpar.

    The problem in GW games is that the disparity in power is usually gross.

    Yeah there are a lot of eldar players that jumped on eldar because they were sweet waac goodness. In the context that they are playing though that doesn’t make them a bad person. It makes them a powergamer looking to compete in a game system against other powergamers.

    My first army was Dark Angels in 3rd edition. That lasted all of six months because I was a powergamer, and they were horrible. I picked up….eldar. I built a really bent starcannon spam eldar build that won me a lot of trophies.

    Today I’m not a powergamer, but I’ve played and owned eldar for almost twenty years. Length of time really doesn’t state much all the time. I can recite fluff for any of my factions also, which some believe that powergamers cannot do, but my eldar when they were first created were created to pwn the **** out of everyone because GW’s power disparity has always been right busted.

  • Knight_of_Infinite_Resignation

    I think this is an unwise comparison to make. Thinking someone is a bit of a tool for playing a bandwagon army isn’t the same as racism. Racism is altogether far more serious and you could be accused of minimising the seriousness of racism by making this comparison.

    • Andy Wise

      The same thought had occurred, for a supposedly lighthearted board / regular post you’re getting into very serious, divisive territory.

      Prejudice about toy soldiers and actual racism shouldn’t be conflated.

      • Koonitz

        However, it’s the same thought processes that make you think X of someone because of their race, that also makes you think Y of someone because they play Eldar.

        That one is more serious is irrelevant to the comparison. The comparison is still valid.

        Nor does the comparison belittle one.

        • Knight_of_Infinite_Resignation

          its not the same. If you dislike someone for playing an overly powerful army, its because you think they are trying to get an easy victory over you. Its your sense of fairness and sportsmanship that is, perhaps rightfully, being offended. Maybe you think a little less of them because they have chosen to play on ‘easy mode’ and this betrays a lack of the finer points of character that we generally admire.

          If you dislike someone for being another race, then that has no logical basis or justification in any positive sense like fairness, its just you being an ignorant prejudiced cwnt who can’t see past your own conditioning.

          nb for moderator: CWNT stands for Certified Wireless Network Trainer…

          • Koonitz

            But wouldn’t you also say that judging someone based on nothing more than “they play Eldar”, is just as based on logic and justification as judging them because of their race?

            For example, are you sure the Eldar player in your example is just trying to go for a cheap win? Just as sure as you are that black guy in a hoodie is trying to steal the candy he just picked up?

            Regardless of how serious one is, or how serious the consequences are, the BASIS for making your judgement is the same. The same thought processes that bring you to your inevitable judgement. You are prejudiced against that individual based on a simple, sole fact “they play Eldar” or “they are black”. How you came to be prejudiced in that sense is similar, and a comparison based on that is valid.

            It does nothing to cheapen the seriousness of racism in any way, shape or form. It simply makes a comparison. I would say, more likely, it makes the idea of being prejudiced against Mr. Eldar player more serious than it rightfully should be viewed as.

          • Pimpcron

            Whether I did go too far with this or not, it appears that Koonitz gets where I was trying to go. I see similarities in prejudice. Whether it is against a fictional army or a skin color. I like to use the lens of wargaming to explore philosophical topics sometimes. No offense intended, but by now you should also know that I don’t care if any was taken. I like to get people thinking.

          • Andy Wise

            I agree that there’s a parallel that relates to prejudice and people’s founded or unfounded preconceptions. My point is that to compare racism, which has a terrible effect on many lives with our hobby is not a prudent idea.

      • Frank Krifka

        BURN THE WITCH! BURN HER!!!

        Too soon? Ok fine. I’ll be back in an hour to two…

  • Xodis

    I have an Eldar army, whenever its mentioned about how “great” they were in 6/7e I show them my metal WraithGuard….all 20 of them that I needed in 5e to make them Troops. It usually shuts them up pretty quick.

    • Xodis

      Great article though. Deep, comical, and overall entertaining.

      • Pimpcron

        Thanks Xodis!

  • Defenestratus

    I only play Eldar.

    (Since 2nd edition)

    • Graham Bartram

      I played Tau from the day they came out but recently shelved them in favour of Ad-Mech because it was getting too easy.

    • Erich Schoenholtz

      Same here. Some of my models are older than most younger players playing the game these days.

    • Me

      Ditto

    • Mira Bella

      We all know that mate. 🙂

  • Heinz Fiction

    I play Eldar and Nids. Would love to play Necrons as well but my funding is limited…

  • Drew_Da_Destroya

    We Ork players just wanna have a laugh and a good time while drowning our opponents in dice.

  • Arthfael

    I don’t understand how people can jump the 40k bandwaggon. I have maybe 6000 pts (7E, no idea how that translates into 8E) of painted Eldar (yes, Eldar, suck it! also a few Stealers, Blood Angels and Black Templars), and it’s taken me ~8 years to assemble, convert and paint them. How can people get a 2000 pts army ready in like, 3 months?!?!

    • euansmith

      Apparently people take part in tornements with… gak… unpainted armies… actual minis fielded without paint… and apparently without shame.

      • Koonitz

        That, as well. But also some people will download their netlist (30 seconds), buy the full 2,000 point army (couple hours on GW’s website), send the models to a painting commission site, get them painted, and then have a full, painted army in a month or so.

        That they then e-bay the moment it loses a single game.

        Then, off they go to the interwebz to download the new netlist.

        • euansmith

          I guess that at least makes work for the painting services.

        • Me

          Those folks must have their own money printing press….

        • thereturnofsuppuppers

          that misses out so much good hobbying

          • euansmith

            To paraphrase Bruce Lee, “Playing 40k is like a finger pointing at the Eye of Terror; if you concentrate on the finger, you will miss all that grim dark glory.”

  • Ian Chisholm

    I picked up Guard and Nids in early 7th because they were coolest to me. It took a year before I won a game. Until 8th I’d win maybe 1 out of every 10 games. Now I’m one of the players to watch out for on the table and the turnabout is so strong I can’t believe it.

  • GiftoftheMagi

    This may or may not be on point, but as an Eldar player since 2nd Edition, I have faced a long standing prejudice against the army. In pretty much every version of the game, the Eldar get a large amount of hate. Even when the army was not particularly good or effective. Whether it be about having a large amount of Psykers, Starcannons being effective against Marines, Wraithlords having wounds, etc., every year I hear more and more excuses as to why the army ‘sucks’ amd how they wish Marines and Chaos got more attention. It has lead to players actually quiting tourneys I was in rather than play me in protest… Before they even saw what I have brought (I play Footdar armies).

    This attitude has lead to a hardening of my opinions toward other armies and players, particularly Imperial, Chaos and Tau. I have little to no sympathy for nerfs, exploits used against them or whining of any form. Considering how much attention they get, and the general attitude toward “xenos” armies shown, I admit to a level of disinterest in their problems.

    A true balance in the game would be to treat all their armies and races with the same level and respect given Marines and Chaos. But I get it. That is where the money is. Too bad too many players see that as a reinforced prejudice.

  • Richard Mitchell

    Pimp has convinced me. I am going to die my hair purple and join ANTIFA.

    • Pimpcron

      That’s the spirit! You had me at purple.

  • Mad Max

    So, what would you think of someone dropping 2nd/3rd edition nids on the table, and anything newer, modeled to look like they belong if they were a 2nd/3rd edition release? also everything is painted in behemoth colors. Scale creep has not been fun.

  • Would you think the same if I told you that I’m playing Eldar since 2nd Edition and chose them as my one and only army before even owning their Codex?