How To Play Squats in Necromunda

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The clock has chimed. Squats have come back to roost. Take a look at their rules.

Necromunda is a hive of scum and villainy–but more so these days with the new Hired Guns who have just made their services available. Gracing the pages of Gang War 2 you’ll find deadly hunters of all shapes. And sizes. Including a return of one of the galaxy’s most rumored races:

Grendl Grendlsen makes his home in Hive Primus. And while there’s only one of him, it’s like the saying goes, for every Squat you see, there’s a hundred more you don’t. Pretty sure that’s a saying and how it goes.

But from the one we see, we can learn much–like that there’s a contingent of squats (or at least there was) called the Vega Rams.

But you didn’t come here to learn why Squats, or even what Squats–you came here to learn how to Squats. Well, let me tell you, this sanctioned bounty hunter is pretty fearsome. His boltgun and trusty hammer are ready your disposal.

And as you can see from his card, he comes with a pretty sweet set of skills and gear–combat master and iron jaw play very well with the armour, making Grndl a pretty deadly force who’ll consistently soak up the enemy’s return fire, at least for a few rounds before he has to start worrying. Tough and scrappy, Grendl is more of a brawler than a blaster–but hire him on if you want someone who’ll get the job done.

The other way to play Squats is to carefully bend your legs then spring upwards when a shout.

  • euansmith

    There does seem to be a fair amount of sexy hi-tech floating around the Underhive these days, with guns and pistols of the Bolt and Plasma variety popping up on Gangers.

    • ZeeLobby

      Aren’t those low tech now tho? Don’t Primaris have the new high tech thingamabobs. I mean we went through the era of a single plasma gun per squad. Then we had everyone gets a plasma or rarer combiplasma. Soon guardsmen will be trading in their flashlights.

      • euansmith

        Imagine an All Plasma All The Time Guards Army, where one sixth of you dudes die every turn from overheating weapons; double on over-charge 😀

        • georgelabour

          So pretty much half the guard armies in fourth and fifth edition then?

        • frank

          Haha i can see it now.
          Magus X5114-“Hey what happened to that regiment of guard we gave that massive plasma weapon shipment to?”
          Skitarii B119-” well they went on a brutal rampage killing the local space marine chapter along with all members of the admistratum in the sector.
          Magus X5114- “any good news?”
          Skitarii B119- “they lost more than a 6th of their forces to issues related to over heating alone, before declaring their allegiance to the tau empire”.

      • frank

        Space marines equipment is a lot more easily improved than guard weapons. Not saying that Gw wont improve their stuff but Guiliman probably didn’t think oh shoot I’ve got to make guard better when he “planned” on creating the primaris marines, 10,000 years to equip and make them doesn’t bode well for imperial guard trading in their flashlights anytime soon… at least not in large numbers.

        • euansmith

          Procurement Clerk, “These are brand new; we just got them in. That’s a good gun. Just touch the trigger, the beam comes on and you put the red dot where you want the shot to go. You can’t miss. Anything else?”

          Guardsman, “Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range.”

          Procurement Clerk, “Hey, just what you see, pal!”

          • jmaximum

            Nice, dude 😉

        • jmaximum

          I really want to see a more in-depth coverage of how they are ret-conning Primaris in to 40K lore, other than this “Guilliman’s Magnus-level prescience allowed him to see the need for super dooper Marines, and he started the project without Daddy’s permission”,and especially the integration of Primaris to existing chapters….. Hey, what if the Primaris are like ‘nah brah, ur a marine, but ur the same size as a hoomon even in ur powah armor. We tru tru scale Marines, brah. we do our own thang.’

          • frank

            Feels like there could be a large amount of fluff that could be written about the history of their creation and implementation that could better define the story of primaris marines. Because cant imagine that some of the first founding chapters were not bothered by the announcement of the primaris marines existence and the secrecy of their creation.

      • jmaximum

        one thing i never understood: bolters and plasma guns in regular-sized human hands have the same profile as Astartes-sized weapons. It was mentioned somewhere (can’t recall) that the recoil from an Astartes bolter would rip off the arm of a human if/when fired.

    • 6Cobra

      So far no Lascannons, Plasma Cannons, and Missile Launchers like there were in old Necromunda, along with a hefty number of meltaguns and plasma guns (and Bolters and plasma pistols.)

      So far, anyway..

      • memitchell

        No, after one game, all fighters (except Juves) can get Special Weapons. The Legacy Gangs pdf, and probably the new Gang War 2 weapons table include plasma guns, meltaguns, grenade launchers and flamers. A necro gang can be much better armed than an I-Guard squad.

        • frank

          Much like drug cartels can be better armed than the local military in some areas…..

  • Simon Chatterley

    Squats is a bit misleading as a title isn’t it?

    “How to play your Squat in Necromunda”

    Seems more legit

    • HeadHunter

      Buy ten of them, then. 😀

    • The rules do allow you to build your own squat bounty hunters, and there will be rules for a bounty hunter gang in WD in a few months

      • Simon Chatterley

        I know but there is still only 1 model. There’s no need to be getting super excited yet.

        I’ll be all over a squat army if it ever happens.

        • memitchell

          Khardron Overlords. All good.

          • Simon Chatterley

            I have 2500 pts of them already 🙂

      • frank

        Do they allow for more beast-men too? Because a combined squats/beast-men bounty hunter team sounds like the coolest thing ever.

    • Son_of_Corax_XIX

      Need those clicks now the community sight has robbed them of all the rumour bait

    • Muninwing

      even the supposition that the “vega rams” are all squats is BS.

      i wish we could get fair warning on what articles are an utter waste of time…

      • frank

        they are a squat regiment from way back.

        • Muninwing

          they *were* a squat regiment

          they’re listed here as a merc group. not even an all-squat one. just mercs.

          • frank

            really “the ab-human members of his house, including the entire complement of the Vega Rams” seems to suggest otherwise unless their a mix of ab-humans means they include other ab-humans groups to you as well. If they don’t mean strictly squats it would be pretty cool but i doubt it. Though it would be pretty cool if the Vega Rams where a mixed squat and beastmen mercenary force, they are listed as an all ab-human group and not just mercs.

          • Muninwing

            but again… you have to assume.

            and if it’s uncertain, and a mere easter egg thrown in, it’s unclear what GW actually intends to do here.

            so… extrapolating that “you can now play squats” or “they are returning” or “they’re not dead” or whatever fanboy weeaboo bs you want to whip out is about as reliable as plastic sisters.

            sure, they might happen. but this video means exactly what it says — that there’s one squat merc that can be played.

            any further extrapolation — much less writing an whole article about it — is stupid until more evidence presents itself.

          • frank

            Not saying that they are going to bring squats back but they are showing the squat fans some love with the fluff. The article aside the fluff including the Vega Rams is just an Easter egg like you said and based on the fluff presented cant say that there are more of them even left on Necromunda, that said the Vega Rams are probably a squat group. That doesn’t mean they will release more of them or that they will be an army just that they did give them a fluffy nod in the description of this character. anything more than that is speculation and not what I was talking about.

          • Muninwing

            i think we’re on the same page.

            too many people bought into the baer-fueled conspiracy theory around a joke about “plastic sisters in a trash bin” that articles like this implying that squats are a ready-to-use force for necromunda (or will be soon) are irritating.

          • frank

            i believe we are. Don’t know if my original reply went through the sites being weird today on my computer. point is yea it is kinda silly that there are people saying that they are coming for either system. I think plastic sisters when they release their codex is more likely to happen than Gw releasing a whole squat force for either system anytime soon. Doesn’t mean they wont release them some day but based on this same kind of one off release they are just as likely to make a whole force of imperial beast-men.

  • bad mood

    Spoileralert for beowul: grendel is the bastard son and monster (Squats) that got conceived by the King (GW) and the wicked monster witch (us customers) in a deal to come to power (dam money’s) and subsequently disfigured by birth and abandoned by the King (squatted by unlove) to come haunting (people asking for it) the king and in his long hall (Nottingham HQ) every single night, slowly murdering its way up the food chain.

    Bewolf eventually rips grendels arm out. (GW throwing us a token squat bone) only for Beowulf (current GW headquarters) to make the same stupid deal like the king did. (They already regret coming down this, because the questioning will only get worse now)

    I might have mixed up by some of the details, but naming the one squat this way is either carefully self ironic, or a tiny bit a middle finger to the fans.

    • TheWanderingJewels

      I see and raise you an Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau

      • euansmith

        I’ll match you with Lion El’Johnson. Yes that name really is as silly as Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau. 😉

  • Rainthezangoose

    Id love to see a squat gang or maybe even a squat unit. If this was GW from 10 years ago we would have seen a White Dwarf tutorial on how to convert Kharadorn Overlords into a unit in 40k and allow them to be fielded in Imperial Guard and Tau armies. Or maybe we wouldn’t but it be cool either way!

    • Chris

      No need to even convert them.

    • 2008 era WD was well past it’s prime tbf

      • euansmith

        I’ve found that, after a point “10 years” ago seems to get stuck, and so 1990 is still “10 years” ago for me.

        • Haha I know what you mean, 2008 was like 3 years ago, surely

  • James Regan

    i like how the backstory points to someone dropping a ‘small’ nuke on someone else being pretty much standard politics in necromunda.

    ‘low yield’ for an atomic charge killed 70,000 in hiroshima, and they were spread pretty thin by necromundan standards.
    Further note- this is a recruitment world for the imperial fists- the space marines come back to recruit, there’s the smoking remains of at least a few hundred thousand people reduced to atomic shadows, they shrug and go ‘well, not the worst case of internal political bickering we’ve seen, not really our problem. Now, to abduct some children’

    • tinythebig

      Funniest comment I’ve read here in a while

    • All of this checks out

    • SYSTem050

      Have some likes.

    • memitchell

      Hiroshima atomic bomb yield was 15 Kilotons of TNT. “Low yield” atomic warheads can as small as be 0.01 Kilotons. Not saying his make sense, but doesn’t have to be a city killer.

    • kobalt60

      If you’re the type that goes and dies of a little radiation poisoning, you weren’t Fist material in the first place

    • frank

      Obviously if you are the Fists you just avoid that area when you are handing out the candy. With hive populations of up to 100 billion people housed in each hive city. I think the Fists don’t have to worry too much about a few small nukes going off every once in a while, they might even encourage it haha.

  • Philippe Lego

    Someone (on the oldhammer fb group I think) pointed out that the vega rams were mentioned in an older book of the rogue trader era. Nice nod 🙂 http://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a9a7307458f0534cdb66a048e43f83dc156b91fc5db2f68a5c274f5008cd0aa.jpg

    • euansmith

      Not to be confused with the Eldar Vegan Rams, or the Slaanesh Venga Rams.

    • Erich Schoenholtz

      Cool throwback to the original source material.

  • jmaximum

    Very cool to see Andy Hoare’s Star of Damocles series referenced for the squats (a GREAT series, before the stories were used for major advertising instead of storytelling). Although no squats were actually in the book, nor is there a character named ‘Constant’ in the Arcadius line, still a nice throwback reference.