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GEEKERY: The Endor Holocaust Theory

2 Minute Read
Jan 29 2016
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If you’re not a fan of Ewoks, this real physics explanation of the Death Star explosion will make you very happy.

For those that are unfamiliar the Endor Holocaust Theory was initially laid out – in a 10,000 word essay – by astrophysicist Curtis Saxon in the mid 90s.

“The circumstances at the end of Return of the Jedi lead inevitably to an environmental disaster on the Endor moon. The explosion of a small artificial moon in low orbit sends a meteoric rain onto the ewok sanctuary, on a scale unmatched since Endor formed. Through either direct atmospheric injection of small particles, or showers of ejecta from large impacts, the atmosphere will be filled with smoke and fallout causing a gargantuan nuclear-winter effect.

Unless the rebel commandoes on Endor were executing a suicide mission, the rebel fleet was evidently able to intervene to protect their immediate vicinity: probably an area comparable to Luxembourg. Debris fragments amounting to the mass of the rebel fleet might conceivably have been diverted from that particular locality (by the exertion of the fleet’s tractor beams) and onto adjacent areas of the Endorian globe. However this is only a tiny fraction of the total mass incident on the moon during an event lasting mere minutes. The mass of the entire debris cloud and fireball is incomparably (inexorably) greater than the combined mass of both fleets over Endor.

A general climatological catastrophe was unavoidable. Averting the disaster would have required physical action on a scale greater than the construction of a Death Star, within minutes of the battle station’s explosion.

Immediately following ROTJ the Endor moon has become unlivable, meaning that the ewoks are extinct…”

no ewoks

The subject has been covered by a number of scientists since with very few seeing Endor coming out as habitable – the life on the surface experiencing radiation, pieces of debris traveling at 220,000mph, massive amounts of heat, fire, and various chemical clouds.

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Tech Insider posed the question to a number of scientists recently. Planetary scientist, David Minton, responded with a detailed paper that is summed up in this handy video…

“The Ewoks are dead. All of them.”

– Dr. David Minton, Ph.D. Planetary Sciences –

sad baby ewok

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