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Doing It Solo: The Dirty Side of Wargaming

5 Minute Read
Feb 24 2017
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Pimpcron gets into uncomfortable territory with you.

Hey guys and gals. Your Pimpcron is here to talk to you about something that’s a bit … dirty in the eyes of most you. Turn your speaker volume down so nobody hears what you’re reading.

You Can Do It Alone

So to break the ice, I’ll admit my secret first. Let’s get awkward!

At least once a week after the kids go to bed and the wife is busy, I put on some music to set the mood, and I get out my … toys. They vary in shape and size and I have a huge collection of them. I keep them locked away in my storage room because I think my kids are a bit too young to have easy access to them. But the point is, a great many of us gamers play with our self in the privacy of our homes and try to keep it a secret. I don’t see anything wrong with it and it brings me pleasure. It’s always fun to spend an evening with a buddy and play with each other, and sometimes I can even bring my wife into it. But she’s not really hardcore into using my toys. I’ve had some of the best times playing with myself because you can let your imagination really run wild and immerse yourself in the fantasy. You don’t have to worry about the wants of another person and don’t have to compromise your needs.

Most everything I do is alone anyway.

You have to admit though, that there seems to be a Playing-With-Yourself-Is-Wrong attitude in our community. I don’t know why this is, because in a society where gamers and nerds are more accepted than ever, solo gamers get weird looks.

Oh, this article is about solo gaming. I guess I should have mentioned that first. But I’m sure you got the point. What else could I have been talking about? Haha. I mean, come on.

Playing Two-Player: The Game With Two Backs

Of course I love playing 40k and other wargames with friends, and that is what brought me into this hobby. So I can’t knock the urge to play against a real flesh-and-blood opponent. But why do we solo gamers get sideways glances when we admit that we solo game? Here’s how conversations in a game store go:

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Normal 1: Yeah, so my half-Octopus Shaman cast a spell that made spaghetti armor for my Pigeon Rogue so that he could defeat the Pudding Monster with his Flaming Umbrella of Zulatech.

Normal 2: Well in my board game session, we were trying to perfect our pizza recipes and get the most customers but Tim (playing the Health Inspector) would catch us cutting santitary corners.

[Solo Gamer walks up]: Hey guys, last night I was solo gaming and …

Normal 1: You play by yourself? That’s weird.

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Normal 2: Yeah man, I just couldn’t get into that. Back away nerd.

Now of course that was just an example and it doesn’t always go that way. Sometimes they spit on me and throw french fries.

Why does everyone hate solo gaming? They say they can’t get into it. They say that there’s no strategy in it. Here’s where they’re wrong.

Don’t Be Ashamed To Go It Alone

So while we’ve been Beta testing my new (free-rules, use-your-own-models) skirmish game, my solo gaming has been on hyper drive. It has completely re-invigorated my urge to masturgame playtest in a big way because you can’t always find an opponent due to schedules. Here are a few reasons why you need to try solo gaming at least once:

  • Play when you want, where you want. You don’t need a partner which means no compromise.
  • Get in double the practice with your armies before an event. When you play both sides, you’re getting practice with two armies and can try to put your event list up against differently out-fitted opponents.
  • Start a campaign by yourself, and write down briefly what happened in each mission, then pick it back up days, weeks, or months later.
  • You can proxy models before purchase if your gaming group is not friendly to proxies.
  • If you have the space, you can leave your game sitting out and get back into it at any time.
  • Make up crazy special rules and try them out for fun. If it isn’t balanced, you’re not disappointing another player, just quit and start it over with a few tweaks.

Trust me, I’m a preacher. Solo gaming is one of the most messed up things I’ve seen.

The Truth About Going At It From Both Ends Sides…

Many people say that playing both sides holds no strategy for them; that they know what their opponent will do. If you structure your thinking, it works just fine.

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Side 1: I see what my strengths and weaknesses are, assess threats and the likelihood of success is, and do my thing. I don’t think much about what the other side will do, aside from what their basic actions will likely be.

Side 2: I go around to the other side of the table and a do the same, seeing how the first side changed the situation from this side. I then choose what to do, and try to do something unexpected or if the odds are in my favor from this direction, do what I’d expect me to do.

Side 1: Go around to this side, etc.

The key is to NOT be thinking about what the other side will do while activating this side. Treat each turn as a new turn, and seeing how the situation has changed, make your decisions turn-by-turn. It is quite fun and without all of the strings attached of playing with opponents.

So How Many Of You Will Come Clean? Do You Fly Solo?

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Author: Scott W.
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