Breaking: PM May Talks Brexit with Minister of Magic

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Late Wednesday night Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt met with new Muggle Prime Minster Theresa May.

London July 14 2016 – 9 AM

Late Wednesday night Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt met with new Muggle Prime Minster Theresa May. The traditional meeting between the leaders of the Muggle and Wizarding World took place among growing uncertainty as a result of the British vote to leave the European Union, known as Brexit.

May, a veteren of nearly twenty years of British politics, kept her normal calm and composed demeanor throughout her introduction to Minister Shacklebolt and his explanation of the Wizarding World. Though the full details of their meeting remain known only to the two Ministers there has been great speculation about the topics they covered.

Giants and Immigration

As most are aware the last giants had been driven out of the United Kingdom during the 1970s, however since the end of the Second Wizarding War a small number of giants have immigrated into the UK, many seeking political refuge. Now their legal status as citizens, along with that of a number of other magical creatures such as Vela and Vampires, living or working in the country is unknown with the threat of possible deportation hanging over them. Well known Vampire celebrity Sanguini is quoted as saying “I have lived and worked in this country for more than twenty years  and I now rise for my undeathly sleep each night without knowing if I’ll have a coffin to come back to when the sun rises.”

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Spokesman for the Giant Alliance Gwuap seen here in a debate with a former Ministry of Magic member.  

Sporting Events

The referendum has caused great worry in how it will effect many international sporting events such as the Quidditch World Cup and the popular but controversial, Tri-Wizard Tournament. On Tuesday last a spokeswomen from the Department of Magical Games and Sports assured the public that it was “Business as usual” as far as they where concerned. Despite this many worry that increased border security and new visa restrictions will deter people from attending events. In a surprise move the headmaster of Durmstrang has stated reservations about his school continued willingness to work closely with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the wake of Brexit.

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Colorful events like this one may soon vanish from British shores

Leaving the ICW?

In the wake of the Brexit vote England’s continued membership in some organizations is now uncertain. Both the International Confederation of Wizards and The International Magical Trading Standards Body have stated a need to renegotiate Britain’s relationship to them. In addition both bodies are discussing moving their out of the current London offices they occupy.

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Busy days at the Ministry of Magic will be the norm for sometime. 

House Elf Rights

In the field of House Elf Rights, always a contentious subject, there is great debate on what Brexit could mean. While in recent years House Elves have won increasing rights due to the alliance between S.P.E.W. and similar continental organizations many worry that Brexit could undo this progress. In particular with much of the Leave Faction pushing to jettison the European Convention on Human and Near-Human Rights a move which would be a major blow to full House Elf Emancipation. S.P.E.W. spokeself Winky released a statement resting S.P.E.W.’s commitment to fighting for an end to mistreatment and prejudice no matter what setbacks occurred.  

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Never Forget

A Divided Nation

One of the most tangible results of the Breixt Referendum is the deep divisions within the Wizarding World it unearthed. Polling of our own wizard readers has shown a great split, with many younger wizards supporting staying in the EU, while older citizens prefer to go it alone. Their reasons are varied.

Former Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge for one campaigned hard for the Leave Vote. “In 1945 it was Britons, like Albus Dumbledore, who went over to the continent to stop Grindelwald. But when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was on the rise here, where were the Europeans? Nowhere to be found! In fact it was loose immigration control that allowed many who supported him to come to this country in the first place. I say good riddance to the EU!”

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The Former Minister of Magic is a stalwart isolationist

Others such as Mr. Kreacher, a pensioner residing at Number 13 Grimmauld Place, had supported the Leave vote due to worries about immigrants taking jobs away from local born residents.

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Mr Kreacher has long been an advocate for locket protection

Even such a surprising figure as Arthur Weasley were in favor of Brexit. “I spent the 90s working to prevent Ali Bashir and his like from importing their substandard flying carpets, only to have the EU undue all my hard work! Well I say, let Britons write laws for Britons!”

 

Among the younger generation however spirits ran high as anger over the vote boiled over. “I was hoping to send my daughter Roxanne to school at Beauxbatons.” Said Quidditch star Angelina Johnson, “But now I don’t know if that will be possible.”

 

Well known Auror Ron Weasley spoke out strongly against Brexit. “Back in school Dumbledore taught us that international co-operation was key to fighting the rise of the Dark Arts. I know he would not be in favor of this move, and neither am I.”

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Weasley went on the add, “Of course Hermione agrees with me, or rather, I agree with her.”  

When asked for a comment Quibbler Editor Luna Lovegood’s only response was “Nargles, must have been due to Nargles…” She was later heard to say that it was “The Rotfang Conspiracy all over again.”

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Ms. Lovegood has long been respected among the community for her outspoken views

A few, such as the venerable Aberforth Dumbledore have remained mostly aloof from the situation. Though the old wizard did express sorrow on David Cameron’s resignation. “I always felt me and the old fellow had a few things in common. Sad to see him go.”

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Aberforth working at the Hog’s Head Inn

Moving Forward

Though the full effects of the Brexit won’t be known until after Article 50 has been triggered and long negotiations undertaken the Minister of Magic is known to be taken steps to smooth over the process. Last week the Minster met with representatives of Gringotts Banks and he is known to be meeting with several other European Ministers in addition to his meeting with PM May. Once Article 50 is triggered it is expected that the International Confederation of Wizards will meet for in-depth negotiations. In a new statement put out this morning Minister Shacklebolt stated that “Though these are uncertain times we live in, and as another famous wizard once said, “The Night is Dark of Full of Terrors”, we must remember that we have weathered greater hardships and darker nights than this. My government will see us through this as a united and strong people.”

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What future – the UK? 

For more breaking Wizarding World News follow me on twitter!

  • Robert Wright

    Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war
    .
    BOLs are you trying to fracture your online community or are you just desperate for clicks?

    • Grafton Is Dust

      Little bit of column A, little of column B?

  • Frank Underwood

    This article should have been one line:

    Theresa May is Voldermort

  • Grafton Is Dust

    C’mon BoLS, I come here to escape the relentless talk of British politics on everything else. If I wanted to be reminded of the mistake of Brexit I’d go read the Daily Mail again.

    • Dongmaster

      Or another media source you have been “educated” by since birth.

      Independent and truthful, packed with white guilt and a heavy dose of PC.

      Hail to the micro few über rich baby!

      • euansmith

        “Independent and truthful, packed with white guilt and a heavy dose of PC.”

        I take it you’ve never read the Daily Mail then?

        • Dongmaster

          No, not really.

          99% of the media is often worse than “fair and balanced” Fox News (shudder).

          No doubt, since most of them are owned by the same people.

          • euansmith

            The Daily Heil is famously right wing; supporting Mosely and Hitler in the run up to WW2, and moving further to the right since then; so they are about on a par with Fox News.

          • Dongmaster

            So slightly better than the rest of the media then?

            Can’t stand truth = racism/fascism/hate media of today.

            I don’t label it left or right anymore.

          • Grafton Is Dust

            Fox News…truth?

            Yeahh…

          • Dongmaster

            No reading posts… But reply anyway?

            Yeahh…

          • Grafton Is Dust

            No reading posts?

          • Dongmaster

            Who said anything postive about Fox News?

      • Grafton Is Dust

        Wat.

        • Dongmaster

          My point = media = those with money = not your truth

          • Grafton Is Dust

            Cool, thanks bro.

          • Cergorach

            Play GW games => You have money

          • Dongmaster

            Yeah I have money, but compared to those folks, I own peanuts.

  • Christie Bryden

    first up, good by england we in scotland are leaving.

    • euansmith

      All the best with Scotxit.

      • Christie Bryden

        we wont be calling it that, we will call it, our freedom. that or independance, or yes. afterall, scotland voted to remain in europe and england broke loads of the promises it made to keep us in, and even then it was only a small marjin that scotland stayed in the uk, more people in scotland voted to remain in europe than to remain in the uk.

        • Grafton Is Dust

          Remains to be seen how things pan out, but IndyRef2 seems to be on the cards. Sturgeon will do her damnedest to make it happen.

        • Dongmaster

          A few more events i France like Nice, and we will see another nation break off the greedy collaboration that is disguised as the peace project called EU.

          • Spacefrisian

            Doubt it, France and Germany are basicly the EU, the rest of us are just extensions. Its more likely that Belgium will split in 2 and than 1 part tacced onto France and the other part tacced onto the Netherlands. (and that wont happen)

          • Dongmaster

            EU is based on a lie so no need to preserve it in its current form.

            Another maybe, but not this globalist crap.

        • So you want independence from the oppressive English overlords, only to be replaced by oppressive European overlords instead?

          You’d have even less say in how your country is governed in Europe than you do now in the UK. Your economy is tiny, your population is tiny, you’d get at maximum 1 vote out of the 28 member countries. As far as Europe is concerned, you don’t matter as much as other countries. You only had the influence you had in Europe by being part of the larger UK. You’ll have as much influence as Ireland does in the EU. Which is basically nothing of note.

          Where is the difference, as far as Scotland is concerned, between the UK and the EU?

          Because right now, with it’s new found longing to be part of Europe, it just seems that Scottish Independence is more about hating the English than actually making a positive difference for the Scottish people.

          • Cergorach

            Being part of the EU makes economies a lot more… Efficient. We had Shengen before there was an EU, but I expect that the vengeful bastards that we are, that the UK will be kicked out of every EU economic effort after they leave the EU. So, you want to go to England, show your passport please, pay VAT at customs, etc. Annoying for a tourist, a PAIN for companies that transport goods. That’s going to seriously impact UK economics in trade and tourism. Not to mention that all EU data services will need to move to EU countries…

            If France tries the same sh!te, they’ll be in the same boat and tourism and trade are also very important to France.

      • Parthis

        Sexit, surely?

        • euansmith

          Who wouldn’t vote for “Sexit”? 😀

          • Parthis

            Exactly man, politics 101; if you want to hide something give it a massively boring name. If you want to sell something, make it sexy.

      • Hedwerx

        Sounds like a chocolate bar.

        • euansmith

          It contains oats and Buckfast.

          • Hedwerx

            Nice, with or without added girders?

          • euansmith

            Sssh, don’t give away the secret ingredient.

      • Spacefrisian

        So what will we be calling Great Brittain than? the same as that comedy show? Little brittain?

    • Parthis

      Maybe, maybe not. But try not to be so insensitive with it. Many people also wanted to Leave the EU in Scotland. Many people also wanted to Remain in England.

      People talk about this stuff in such a binary way without appreciating that MILLIONS of people across all four of our member countries are being forced through a process that they desperately do not want.

      • At least we got to vote this time. When the Maastricht Treaty was signed (which basically was the start of it all going “wrong” in the Brexiters’ eyes) nobody was given a choice. And they should have been. Because if we had agreed to it then, we wouldn’t have had a referendum now to say no to it.

        • SupPupPup

          Neither you or I can possibly know enough about the inner-workings of European politics and economics to make an informed choice, especially when given a binary ‘in’ or ‘out’.

    • durendin

      That “once in a lifetime” referendum two years ago is to be repeated already? Will it be the best out of three or five?

      • euansmith

        I think that the “No” Campaign might struggle to convince 50% of the voters that they aren’t lying next time around 😉 One of the few high points of the Brexit campaign was seeing Ian Duncan Smith parroting Alex Salmond’s arguments that he had poo-pooed during the Scottish campaign.

        • durendin

          I don’t disagree (I voted Yes!) That said, I don’t want to get into the “neverendum” cycle of keep asking until one side eventually wears the other one down and gets their way when voters get fed up. What we need now is a period of stability in government not more voting.

          • euansmith

            However, the “No” campaign so clearly just lied about everything, you can’t blame the “Yes” voters and some of the “No” voters for being a trifle unhappy with the outcome; not just of the referendum, but also of the post referendum antics of UK Gov. 😉 I didn’t get to vote in that one; something about not living in Scotland 🙁

          • durendin

            According to “Remain” WW3 was supposed to have happened since we left the EU. There were outlandish claims on both sides – such is politics and it’s odd that people get their knickers in a twist about deceitful polticians when the vote didn’t go their way. “Le shrug!”

            That said, I suspect that plenty of people had been spending many years waiting to vote to leave the EU and didn’t just make their minds up on a whim based on something they saw on the TV. It’ll likely collapse in a few years anyway – check out the third bail-out for Italian banks? They need around £300Billion so the good news is that one pound will soon exchange for a hundred Euro!

          • euansmith

            I was referring to the Scottish go around. Where stay promised all sorts of concessions to Scots if they stayed, and then reneged on all their offers, or pointed at Gordon Brown and said, “He offered that, not us”, a similar role to that played by Farage in Brexit.

  • kaptinscuzgob

    goes on a bit. if you want good satire keep it short and sweet, like that article about khorne being made the new secretary of state

    • Ben_S
      • Khorne is inept. the only art connoisseur among the ruinous Powers is Slaanesh. I just hope you put Nurgle in charge of the health system. He’d do marvels.

        • Drpx

          Yeah, the U.S. got stuck with the Lord of Change.

          • Luis Otero

            You sir, have won the internet for the entire week! LOL! The only thing that would have been better is if you had been able to somehow include a comment about Khorne feeling the Bern!

          • Dongmaster

            I am still chuckling.

            Hilarious.

          • I think the problem was that Clinton kept her secrets on a home server.

          • Worst part is I’m not sure who’s supposed to be who, except for the lord of change.

            We need Khorne in charge over here. hell, he can bring Khaine and Sigmar to the party, too. we need all the gods of war we can get our hands on. what I’d give to see khornate berserkers storm Isis.

      • Frank Underwood

        So Karen Brady is Khorne’s avatar?

      • kaptinscuzgob

        yeah that one!

  • Parthis

    This is poor even by BoLS standards.

    Are you deliberately trying to upset your readers?

    • Grafton Is Dust

      Outrage is great for traffic.

    • Yes, that’s TweetleBeetle’s job!

  • benn grimm

    Woosh over my head that all went. Thank god…

  • Paul Sinanan

    There is no f’n Harry Potter in the 40th millennium!

    • Dongmaster

      Not true!

      A whole order based on Hermoine with a bad dye day…

  • Horus84cmd

    …sigh….next week “the impact of low level flying on swallow migration in the world of Disney”….sigh…