Michael here with a look at the REAL (bad) armies that are(n’t) going to be tearing up the LVO this year.
For more reviews, analyses and battle reports, check out the Tactics Corner.
Petey Pab recently wrote about the top 10 armies we are likely to see at this year;s LVO. This analysis was very well written and based on his years of experience in competitive 40k, as well as analysis of the winning armies at tournaments from the past year. It was also completely wrong.
He couldn’t be more wrong if his parents (Mr and Mrs Wrong) had christened him Wrong and sent him to live on Wrong Island due to his wrong-ness. He may have been incorrect is what I am trying to say.
Listen up, as I tell you the real lists to look out for at the LVO this year, based on my years of experience of never having attended the LVO or any ITC event. The gods of Internet armchair speculation have bestowed upon me a great gift that I shall impart on you now.
(In case you couldn’t judge from the introduction, this is a spoof article looking at some army lists you will not be seeing gracing the top tables at the LVO. It’s all intended as a bit of fun, no digs at any players or playstyles are intended).
#8 Grey Knights
The message from Games Workshop has been clear and consistent- use whichever copy of the rules you have purchased. Great news for Grey Knights players! Dust off that 5th edition codex and prepare to demolish all those before you
#7 Dark Eldar Raider Spam
Now that the main rulebook FAQ has been released and jinking vehicles no longer has an effect on passengers, Dark Eldar players have nothing to worry about! With massed poisoned weapons and open-topped vehicles that are armour 10 ALL AROUND, expect to see plenty of Dark Eldar Raider spam armies on the top table. Marvel as all your opponent’s S3 shooting attacks are hopeless against your Raiders and watch your poisoned weapons wreak havoc with the enemy army. As long as you don’t come up against any S4 shooting, Imperial Knights, Wraithknights, Gargantuan Monstrous Creatures or Rhinos, you will be fine, but what are the chances of seeing any of those units at the LVO?
This will come as no surprise to anyone. Orks have been dominating the tournament scene for years and years.
The best way to run this army is mobs upon mobs of Orks. Don’t worry, it doesn’t take as long as you think to move 150 Orks around the table, especially after your opponent has their first shooting phase. They might even get worked up enough to hit the enemy as hard as they hit themselves in combat.
The only reason you may not see them on the top table this year is thanks to the recent main rulebook FAQ limiting Tankbustas to a single Meltabomb attack. Now it’ll only take your mob of Tankbustas 5 turns to kill an Imperial Knight in combat, instead of one turn. Don’t worry though, they have that 6+ armour save, remember.
#5 Warp Spider Spam
Without a doubt, the top table of the LVO will see at least three units of Warp Spiders on them each game. This will occur even when neither army on table 1 has any Warp Spiders in their list. With a good Flickerjump roll, a player from up to table 26 will be able to move their units from their own table to the top table with relative ease.
#4 Skyhammer Annihilation Force
Remember when all those doomsayers were proclaiming on the internet years ago that the Skyhammer Annihilation Force was going to kill competitive 40k? How right they were. This army actually features Space Marines Assault squads that actually get a chance to assault. How OP is that!
#3 Traitor Legions Chaos
There is a huge flurry of excitement amongst Chaos players that this is going to be their year thanks to the release of the new Traitor Legions supplement. I mean, the supplement isn’t good enough to win the event, but after the codices Chaos players have had to endure recently, it must seem like the Gladius Strike Force and Eldar codex rolled into one. Expect to see plenty of Word Eaters and World Bearers armies on the tabletop.
#2 Brimstone Horror Spam
The new hotness in town, this army is going to show up a lot. After your opponent’s first shooting phase, you will have approximately 400 Brimstone Horrors to take control of the table. It’s almost enough to stop you taking your 3+ cover save with re-rolls of 1’s. I mean, you’ll still take it, but you won’t feel so bad when you fail one.
And the army that will win the LVO and the ITC for the 2016-2017 year will be:
The leaders of the Warhammer 40,000 illuminati have been very busy these year. They have been openly conspiring with Games Workshop to nerf your favourite army through so-called FAQs! They blocked the entry of the Ta’unar supremacy suit into the ITC because they hate you personally!! Wake up Sheeple!!! Quick, take a screenshot of this before they find it and delete it!!!! And remember, stay safe out there, and don’t drink the free “water” at the LVO- that’s how they get you!!!!!!!!!!!
~What army do you think could win a Bizarro-world LVO?
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