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Pimpcron: 2017 40k Year in Review

4 Minute Read
Dec 29 2017
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Pimpcron recaps all the craziest stuff that happened this past year.

Whoa! Hello people of 2016! I just came back from 2017 and boy do my arms hurt!

I don’t think that’s how the joke goes, moving on.

Anyway, a ton of crazy nonsense happens next year in 2017. First off, if you guys don’t like spoilers then just click somewhere else because this is full disclosure zone.

Here We Go

GW will wrap up the series called Gathering Storm in the beginning of the year that ends with Abaddon literally breaking Cadia in half! I didn’t read it but from what I heard, he literally karate chopped it in two. Creed was all like, “My planet!” and Abby just laughed. It was nuts.

Fluff-wise, Marines start cranking out all of these new Marines that look like they ate a Mario mushroom. They are bigger, and *kind of* better than normal ones and many of you will fall in love with them despite saying you don’t like them.

Games Workshop must have just seen Star Wars for the first time and really dug the whole planet-blowing-up thing. Cause guess what? Biel-Tan is next! Once again, didn’t read it, but I think Abaddon head butted that one in half. It was a good year for Abby. Don’t get excited, no new model.

So Eldar get new models and a new faction called Ynnead, and my only reaction was, “Geedub, Ynnead to stop this Eldar stuff. They are powerful enough.”

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Guess who is back?! Bobby G gets a model literally there was never another Space Marines list made that didn’t include him. At the beginning of each turn he just wins the game on a 5+ or something like that. He’s pretty good.

Okay, Here’s the Big One

You know all of those rumors about a new edition we’ve heard? It happens in June of 2017.

You may want to sit down. It’s pretty much just Age of Sigmar but their Sigmar is still dead on a throne and Orks are still pronounced with one syllable. Honestly, I got a chance to play it during my short stint in 2017 and it wasn’t bad. Vehicles are monstrous creatures now, and monstrous creatures get the AoS treatment with reduced stats when taking wounds. Templates die, so does armor facings, and characters joining units.

All in all, I liked it a lot and the armies seemed much more balanced, though it wasn’t perfectly balanced as you’d probably assume. Overall my favorite edition though.

With the new edition Death Guard get a lot of love and share the starter set box with Primaris. Then another Primarch comes back! Mortarion is back, baby! And literally there was never another Chaos list made that didn’t include him. At the beginning of each turn he just wins the game on a 5+ or something like that. He’s pretty good. I’m clearly not a good or competent messenger of leaks.

You might want to sit down again.

The end of 2017 sees two fan favorites coming back. Necromunda and Sly Marbo come back to the tabletop! This was a pretty huge year for 40k, and that doesn’t even include all the AoS stuff that came out and happened!

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They also decided to release a yearly points adjustment book called Chapter Approved which was okay I guess. On a scale from Dreadful to Sweeeet! It was Meh.

But That’s Not All, My Children

Space Marines, Grey Knights, Death Guard, Chaos Marines, Imperial Guard, Tyranids, Eldar ( I think that’s it) all get new codices! The two stand-out codices that you need to know is that Guard and Nids get huge boosts and become both prevalent on the tabletop and feared. I played both of those armies through the bad times, so I’m not gonna feel bad about riding the wave of karma! I mean, come on. Nids have it coming. They needed a boost.

Well, I’m just excited that I was able to use the last bit of balance on my gift card I got for Time Traveling Taxi to bring you these leaks! I just left on December 30th, 2017 and in a flash of light I arrived back here at December 29th, 201 …

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

~What are your highlights of the year for 40K?

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2017 Shorehammer Button for BoLS

Or contact me at [email protected] for the latest rules if you don’t do the Facebooks.

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