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Pimpcron: Which Type of Gamer Are You?

6 Minute Read
Mar 2 2018
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Pimpcron codifies the real definitions of each class of gamer.

Hey boys and girls! It’s that magical time again where all the school kids flock to see what 40k-related nonsense falls out the front of my head. We’ve heard a lot of talk about WAACs and Fluffs, but even I often misuse the terms. I’m here this week to expertly define all the classes of gamers once and for all in no particular order.

I’ll rank them on the Adorable Kitten Scale of fun to play against if you’re a casual gamer.

The Bookworm

Adorable Kitten Scale: N/A

This person is only interested in Warhammer via the novels, and doesn’t play the tabletop game. They might know quite a bit about the fluff, but maybe the game just doesn’t interest them.

Videogamer

Adorable Kitten Scale: N/A

This person is exactly like the one above, except that they don’t necessarily have a good handle on the fluff, but they are very aware of the main factions and the theme of the game. These people usually fall into two categories, either people who used to play but don’t anymore and use this to scratch their itch, and gamers who have no interest in playing the tabletop game, and just like the video game regardless of the IP attached.

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Average Joseph

This is the biggest group of Warhammer players out there. This group is also the most diverse, and is generally easy going with the rules, play units that get them excited, and are willing to let you use your kitbashes. These guys are the most fun to play against because winning isn’t everything to them. But hidden in this group is a sneaky snake. . .

The Snake

This person acts like he is an Average Joseph, and hides in their demographic. Prior to the game, everything is agreeable, and friendly, but the astute player will pick up on the competitive nature inside. Once the game begins, it’s like being on a date with an angry drunk. They’re not friendly anymore, not charming, and not fun to be around. Now the snake strikes and you realize that the fun list you made for the “friendly game” you agreed on is going to get creamed.

The Toothless Tiger

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This player defines fun by winning games, but doesn’t have the mind for the tactics and relies heavily on the new hotness or cheese. This tiger needs dentures and weapons to be dangerous, because deep down, he’s all gum. You will be able to out think him, but be ready for him to bring the cheddar.

The Fluff Bunny

This gamer is more likely to bring units that fit his army’s theme or backstory than whatever is top tier in the current Meta. This cannot be mistaken for a lack of tactics or strategy, because Fluff Bunnies run the gamut of skill and seriousness. But these gamers are generally fun to play against because hyper competitive tend to take better unit options. Bunnies are also pretty open to kitbashes and narrative games/campaigns which is a plus. These people are more about a good experience/story being told than who wins.

The WAACs

This is the much-maligned player who will stop at nothing to win. Take the most net-listiest list he can google search, and use every facet of the game to his advantage. This category of gamer is often confused with Alphas (see below), but they are actually two different versions of gamer. In extreme cases of WAAC, they will lie or cheat to win if they feel their net list and/or tactics aren’t enough to win. These players are just like Fluff Bunnies as they too run the gamut of player skill and can’t be confused with Top Gun’s (also see below). This demographic is also much smaller than the internet claims.

Alphas

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This category is all about winning. Well, not ALL about winning like WAACs. WAACs and Alphas are often mislabeled as the other. Alphas are all about winning, but they like to have fun too. The only issue is that their definition of fun may be different than yours. Alphas like to take good units, and make good lists, then try their best to win; it’s the challenge of earning victory over another player that drives them. But there is no actual cheating or lying, these people are the more professional version of the Average Joseph, and keep their thumb on the pulse on “what is hot” fairly well. Alphas generally have a good sense of tactics and like to try their best to win, but are generally nice and will joke with you while they beat you.

Top Guns

These gamers are the epitome of gaming, the very tactically skilled people that also hide in Average Joseph category like the Snake. Top Guns can win with nearly any army regardless of the meta because they know when and where to strike with each match up. They may or may not take the game seriously, but these people have a natural talent for tactics and will own you while being ever so loveable. Of course these players reside in all other categories of wargamers, and are not easily identified until they begin to play. Their attitude also runs the range from super nice to uppity snobs.

The Mayor

This type of person is much more about being social and having fun than winning, and they can be a Top Gun, Fluff Bunny or Average Joseph. They take what they want, care about how much fun their opponent has, and just wants a good game. Tactics aren’t their top priority and their lists often don’t come with a lot of thought behind them as far as synergy or power goes. These people are generally fun to be around and have a nice attitude. This type of person wants their opponent to have fun and will accommodate them in whatever style game their partner wants to play, only limited by their actual skill. I find that a large number of players fall into this category in conjunction with the Average Joseph.

The Picasso

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This player isn’t really a player at all, and likes to collect models/paint them/kitbash, etc. If they do play, you may have to hold their hand through it because playing isn’t super important to them. Many of these people are very non-competitive and some may even be recluses; I’ve never met a Picasso that was also a WAAC, Snake or Alpha.

Are there any I left out? Which ones are you? I’m a blend of Mayor/Average Joseph.

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Or contact me at [email protected] for the latest rules if you don’t do the Facebooks.

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