WEIRD: Let’s Play D&D With Weird Al Yankovich
Grab your accordion and your Hawaiian shirt of protection, this week we’re inviting Weird Al to play Dungeons and Dragons.
There are entire songs that I’ve only heard a few of times, but know the Weird Al cover as if they were the original, and other songs that I’ll start thinking of with the original lyrics and swap over to Al’s and not be sure when the switch happened. He may be the closest thing we have to a true modern bard, and one of the most delightful performers out there. Personally, I can’t wait to see what Daniel Radcliffe does with his story this November. Until then though, we’ll relisten to his discography and see if we can successfully sneak him into our next D&D session. I’m pretty sure it would be very doable (and fun) to play D&D with…
Usually I make human people into human characters. It makes sense, they’re human, and they have human limitations. I almost did that with Weird Al, but then – not to get ahead of myself – I decided about half way through that I wanted to give him the Everybody’s Friend feat, but that has a pre-requisite of Half-Elf characters. And so, Weird Al is a half-elf. It took a bit of reworking, but I think it was worth the extra time.
From there, he’s a Bard, obviously. Nobody who can get us all to love songs again, and sometimes more than the original isn’t a Bard. And the way he uses it to spoof, make fun of, and parody is incredibly Bard-like. Unfortunately, sometimes Bard’s abilities and spells can feel a little bit mean, which isn’t the Weird Al vibe at all. But they’re also incredibly useful and you’ll be ‘Vicious Mockery’ing a bad guy anyway. So it’s cool.
I also gave him a level in Warlock. Having a patron probably feels a lot like being stuck in a 32-year album contract. The boons and security is pretty cool, but sometimes you want to see other kinds of magic.
His feats all lean really hard on his performance and generally good reputation. Performer and Master of Disguise definitely reference his stage presence which can include entire costume changes.
You may notice the lack of any real attacks or weapons. That was mostly on purpose, but I did goof by not adding his +5 unarmed strike with the 1 HP of damage. But aside from his Bardly abilities and spells, I have a hard time picturing Weird Al picking up a weapon in earnest. Maybe he would. Maybe your character should in a game. But for our purposes, nah. Instead, I made sure he had his trusty accordion and written permission from all of the artists he’ll be writing parodies of.
He’s also lacking in armor right now, which wouldn’t necessarily be the best choice in your next dungeon crawl. But I think the only right answer here would be to ask your DM for a special Hawaiian shirt of protection item. Will it give you away? Yeah. But it’s worth it for the joke.
How would you make Weird Al for a D&D setting? Would you play D&D with the real Weird Al if given a chance? What show, comic, movie, or game should I make sheets from next time? Let us know in the comments!