D&D: So You Want to Play an Elf, Do You?
Elves are everywhere in fantasy adventures, always haughty and aloof and full of ancient wisdom. Here’s how you can play an elf.
Science fiction is when the aloof, pointy-eared humans with advanced technology are aliens; fantasy is when they’re elves. And also their advanced technology is powered by magic. But it’s fantasy, that goes without saying. And in D&D, where there’s an elf for every day of the week, that’s doubly true. It’s only natural that once in the lifecycle of any D&D player they’d want to play an elf.
It can be tricky, but we’re here to help. Here’s what to do when you want to play an elf.
Just Don’t
It’s really easy. Just don’t. Pick a different option. There are more than thirty different kinds of creatures you can be. Do you feel the urge to play something stereotypically fantasy-oriented? Dwarves and halflings are right there. Want to be a magical being who’s somehow better than everyone else? Check out the aasimar or fae.
Want to be haughty and aloof? Pick a dragonborn or aarakocra (they’re literally above it all). Long-lived? Pick the githzerai or githyanki, they don’t age while they’re on the astral plane!
Dark and broody? That’s what Tieflings are for. There are so many options for you, but if you absolutely must play an elf…
Figure Out How You’re Weird
If you’re going to play an elf, you’re going to be a weirdo. Yes, elves are ageless beings who master whatever they set their minds to. But have you ever hung around, say, a musician who spent their childhood dedicated to playing the violin? Or worse yet, someone who studied the blade?
Now multiply that by like six decades before you’re even considered “adolescent” and that’s the kind of being you get when you’re an elf. Even Tolkien knew what was up. Look at Legolas, he has to be told to chill out by Aragorn, like, all the time.
Galadriel is ethereally perfect but holds a ring out in front of her, and suddenly her colors get inverted and she’s beautiful and terrible as the dawn.
So think about how your elf is weird. Does everything remind you of a story from your reckless youth of 70 years old? Did you get waaaay too into knowing tree facts? Can you speak to animals and are entirely too invested in relaying what they say to others?
But Then Make it Sound Real Fancy
Okay. So now you’ve realized what kind of a weirdo you are when playing an elf. You have to do the second part. This is one weird trick to playing an elf, sure. But trust me on this, it will transform you.
Spend some time looking at elevated speech. Look at Shakespearean characters who speak in verse. Or like comic book villains. Then sort of filter everything you have to say through that lens.
Worried about doing a voice? Let me tell you, it’s really easy. Just stretch out some of the vowel sounds in weird ways. Say a long vowel when you would say a short vowel, if not using the wrong vowel altogether. Or pronounce a hard G like a soft one and vice versa. So you might pronounce giraffe like a gorilla.
If you can, make everything sound like you’re a high school poet.
Remind Everyone That You are an Elf
This part’s really easy. Just remind everyone that you’re an elf. Any time you might answer a question normally, don’t. Find a way to work in the fact that you’re an elf.
So if, for instance, someone asks you if you can see anyone hiding in the bushes, don’t say “yes,” or anything pedestrian like that. Say instead “my elf eyes see three bandits,” or whatever the answer is.
Watch This Video
Or you can watch Dimension 20, who are getting ready for a new season in a few short weeks, and their take on how to properly play an elf.
Happy Adventuring
