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D&D: Five Magic Items to Help Fix That Broken Heart

3 Minute Read
Feb 17 2024
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Healing spells might restore hit points, but can they fix a broken heart? If not, try one of these magic items.

Sometimes when you fall in love, you take a lot more than 1d6 per 10 feet of falling damage. Fortunately in a game like D&D, at least, there are plenty of magic items that can help you pick up the pieces after that natural 1.

Adamantine Armor

Can’t have a broken heart when you’re literally unbreakable. This suit of magic armor makes any critical hit just a normal hit. And if you pair it with damage reduction from something like Heavy Armor Master, you’ll be much less vulnerable.

Of course, maybe trying hard not to be vulnerable was what got you here in the first place. But if you just always keep your guard up and never let anyone in, you’ll never be hurt. Well. Aside from the occasional bit of damage that gets through the armor.

Ring of Invisibility

Heartbreak can make you just want to leave everything behind. And with a ring of invisibility, allowing you to become invisible at will, you absolutely can. Take ghosting to another level by literally vanishing. It works great at 111th birthdays, company-wide stand-up meetings, and when someone starts telling you that it’s not you, it’s them.

Of course, this might mean you end up looking for ways to disappear on people before they can do the same to you. So. Y’know. Your mileage may vary.

Rod of Security

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Okay, but if you want to get over your broken heart you can’t just run away from your problems. Or can you? The Rod of Security transports you and up to 199 other creatures to an extraplanar paradise that takes the form of your choosing.

It could be a tranquil garden, lovely glade, cheery tavern, immense palace, tropical island, fantastic carnival, or whatever else you can imagine. Regardless of its nature, the paradise contains enough water and food to sustain its visitors.

For each hour spent in the paradise, a visitor regains hit points as if it had spent 1 Hit Die. Also, creatures don’t age while in the paradise, although time passes normally. Visitors can remain in the paradise for up to 200 days divided by the number of creatures present (round down).

A perfect getaway to lose your problems…and find yourself. The only one who can really help you.

Staff of Birdcalls

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Sometimes one of the best ways to find love is to spend time working on yourself. Take an interest in a hobby that’s fulfilling to you for its own sake, something like, birding, say. With a Staff of Birdcalls, you can perfectly replicate any birdcall. Which is a surefire way to get out there and see some things you’ve never seen before.

You know, live a little. Get some experience under that belt so you’re ready.

Apparatus of Kwalish

Or just get yourself a giant magic crab submarine. Because everything’s better when you’re in a giant magic crab submarine.

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Author: J.R. Zambrano
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