Games Workshop: ‘Warhammer Workout’ April Fools Gag
*Checks calendar* Oh…that explains that. Games Workshop has a new exercise tool that uh…well, it’s April Fools, so…yeah.
The folks at GW are having some fun today and it’s all about getting into Space Marine shape with a “new” piece of workout equipment. Introducing…the “warhammer” for workouts:
The Fitness Warhammer
“Crush your reps like Aeldari skulls with the Mark-19 Emperor-class Primarch Fitness Warhammer – part of our new Adeptus Exercisus program. Many long-time Warhammer fans remember their first gains from moving solid metal Dreadnoughts around the table, and this new innovation in personal fitness is the first step towards replicating these legendary feats of strength and endurance.
The Fitness Warhammer is ergonomically designed so you can smash your exercise targets all day long, just like the Captain that you are inside. Just lift, swing, and achieve greatness.”
If you can’t tell this is a gag then check the “warning” at the end of the video:
“Hammer comes unpainted and requires assembly. We recommend using Citadel Color paints. Do not use as a hammer. Do not take to battle. Do not use before crossing the Rubicon Primaris. May cause excessive injuries if used incorrectly. May cause excessive injuries if used correctly. May summon Ynnead. May summon any combination of the Chaos Gods. May cause a second Great Rift. May cause muscles to become too big. Do not use on death worlds. Do not leave in sunlight, moonlight, or rain. Do not lend to an Ork. Only to be used in close combat: -1 to hit modifiers apply. Not a toy.”
So yes, quite the contradiction of warnings there. In anycase swinging a sledgehammer can actually be a pretty good workout — if done safely and correctly! Also, some of the exercises shown off in the video aren’t terrible either. But there are probably more effective options out there. But that really all depends on your fitness goals and what you’re looking to do.
In all seriousness, I would be curious as to what an actual Space Marine workout would entail. We do know their daily rituals with “Battle Practice” at 0700 and 1500 (which last for 5 hours each) as well as “Night Firing Exercises” at 2130. I’m sure they get lots of cardio on account of their two hearts, too. Besides, I’m sure there’s a fair mix of weapons training and martial arts training in there which is a whole OTHER type of workout besides strength and fitness training.
Space Marine workouts probably aren’t your typical “Home Gym” workout…
