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D&D: Five of the Weirdest Guys You Can Be

4 Minute Read
Nov 7 2023
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The secret to RPGs is having an abundance of weird guys, big or small. And here are five of the weirdest guys that you can be.

Look it’s no secret that a big part of D&D is just figuring out what kind of weird, seemingly random nonsense you’re going to throw together and call an adventuring party. Whether that’s assembling a nigh-broken combination of classes that don’t necessarily fit together narratively, like a Warlock who is also a Sorcerer who is also a Paladin.

Or putting together a most unlikely mix of friends. Forget a dwarf and an elf traveling together. What about a bird person and a minotaur and the rest of the weird guys, big and little, you’ll find here?

Centaur

Look if you’re going to put together a weird party, you may as well start with the Centaurs. These are the ultimate horse girls, in that they’re both horses and girls. Or whatever else you decide to play as.

But centaurs are the only playable lineage in D&D that requires you to have your own set of special rules for fitting into places and doing normal things in a society made for bipeds who have two hands and just two legs. Like climbing ladders.

It almost doesn’t matter what class you take. But the more arcane ones really stand out as weirdos. Centaur Ranger makes sense. But what about a Centaur Warlock? Now we’re talking.

Bird Person

Honestly, you could be any of D&D’s many bird people. But every party gets just that much weirder (and better) when you add a bird person to it. Especially if it’s a blue bird person. Whether it’s Falco Lombardi in the Starfox series, Revali from Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom. or Garrus Vakkarian from Mass Effect, bird people make it weird and good.

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And the same holds true in D&D. Kenku, Aarakocra, even an Owlin will do. Just pick a bird person and run with it. Whatever class you pick will suit you just fine. Aarakocra Birbarian, Owlin Monk, it all just works.

Kalashtar

One of my favorites from the pages of Eberron, where they’re overlooked in favor of magical robots that let you pretend like you’re Data from Star Trek or the Iron Giant (but medium-sized). The Kalashtar are people born of two worlds. A spirit of light bound to a person. They communicate via distinct impressions, instincts, and inspirations.

They are also hunted by nightmare spirits, so they come with their own plot device. If you’re looking for something weird, but not necessarily wacky, here’s a great option to play with.

Plasmoid

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On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are the literal slimeballs known as Plasmoids. These gooey little guys are balls of ooze that can take whatever shape they want. They don’t have to be humanoid, though many tend to do so just to interact with the game mechanics of D&D and wear armor and magic items.

But otherwise, you can just be a weird little ooze, blobbing around. This works especially well if you pick a Class that doesn’t require any armor, like Monk or Barbarian or Wizard or the like. You can just be a little round guy, rolling around until you blow everyone up with a fireball.

Simic Hybrid

Finally, there’s the Simic Hybrid. These are from the Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica (one of the best campaign setting books in 5E and an example more should follow. These weird guys are literal mutants, who are hyper-evolved beings created through magical science.

They come with a number of biological enhancements that make them more than human. There are often fish parts. Or reptile parts. But mostly fish parts. Scales, fins, claws, wings. For your trouble, you get all sorts of weird rules, like being able to glide through the air or to climb like a weird little creature. And you get even more powerful as you level up, gaining extra appendages or the ability to spit acid.

What’s your favorite weird thing to play in D&D?

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Author: J.R. Zambrano
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