You WILL Play 40k!

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Strict father punishes his son. Isolated on white background

Pimpcron has a fake argument with his son about his hobbies.

Just like the rising sun, every morning the Pimpcron comes out of his house, and his future’s so bright people have to wear shades. And just like the moon, Pimpcron writes a blog article every week about 40k. I think I lost the analogy somewhere. Oh well.

Okay, normally I enjoy writing silly articles, and try to pass them off as serious and inevitably a couple people miss the point. But with this one, I just want to preface it with this statement:

+++This premise is a joke, be sure to read the entire article before sending me poop in the mail.+++

But for those of you who still want to, here’s my address. [posts Larry’s address]

My Son And I Love 40k (or else!)

So my son and I have been having a bunch of arguments lately and he is driving me up the wall. He’s at that age where he thinks he knows better than me and doesn’t realize I have so many years on him. I know best, and he shouldn’t question it. Kids, am I right?

kid space marineThis is how they should model space marines.

For instance, he thinks he likes baseball. He doesn’t like baseball at all; it’s boring. We will be sitting down for dinner and he will start spouting off some facts about Bryce Harper and some stupid batting average. AT DINNER. I’m like, “Hey give that sports talk a break son. I won’t have that kind of talk at my dinner table. So anyway wife, I shot those Thunderfire Cannon’s 3 TIMES at that …” And we continued the evening with pleasant talk about 40k.

A day later he was drawing a picture of a person holding a stick next to someone else. He was in the middle of coloring it when I walked up, “Oh hey male offspring, I really like that Empire guy with a halberd. You really nailed it! But just so you know, they didn’t have hats with brims like that in the fluff.” That’s when he told me it was a baseball player holding a bat, not a Free Guild guy. I explained to him that we are a family of nerds and sports-playing is frowned on. “Do you really want to be a dumb jock? Of course not, now go outside a practice priming those models I bought you.” I think I finally got to him. Maybe all of this baseball nonsense was finally out of his system. But just to be sure, I went through the house and covered up all of the references to sports-playing.

Our box of Wheaties doesn’t have a gymnast anymore, now it sports a wizard casting a spell on Wheaties. (Thanks to the magic of Sharpie.)

My wife’s hoop earrings looked suspiciously like Olympic rings, so I bent them to be Sigmar Comets.

I gave our baseball bat a hilt out of string and a stick.

I wrote “Powerfist” on the baseball glove and drew a crude two-headed eagle.

baseball-batI’d settle for this tactical variant as well.

I threw our our sports games for Xbox and put a copy of Space Marine in each case.

I tossed the entire “S” book of our Encyclopedia because there were too many sports references to tear them out individually.

I also set our parental filter to filter out anything ESPN related.

Now with all of those distractions gone, he can focus on his real passion: wargaming and hobbying. But as a side note to other parents, do your children sob the entire time they paint? Seems kind of odd to me, but kids are weird.

That night I walk into his room to check on him after bedtime, and what I found really upset me. He had snuck a Baseball Hall of Fame book into his room and fell asleep reading it. So my question to you guys is: do you think baseball is Satanic? Ya know, like D&D? Whatever it is, it has a serious strangle hold on my son. We have an appointment with an exorcist next Wednesday.

Okay, Now Serious Talk

So if my preface, the subtitle on the post, or my ridiculous examples weren’t enough for you, I’ll spell it out. All of the above was a joke. But it does bring up a concern that I have as a parent. Is baseball evil? No, kidding.

As a parent, I want them to discover and enjoy what they want to like. I know that we tend to like things we are exposed to and I am very careful not to push any of them in a direction just because I love it. My dad has always been a serious, hard working person and never really understood why I was always drawing, writing, and playing games. It’s just not in his blood. My brother and father are closer and that is in large part because they enjoy the same hobbies. I certainly don’t want our different interests to separate me from my children and fully plan on dabbling in whatever hobby they get into, just to have something to do with them. If one of my daughters becomes a gymnast, watch out world! Here comes my lame ass trying it out too!

baby“He’s gonna what?!”

On the other hand, I don’t want to force myself into their hobbies either because it’s important for them to have time away from their parents and discover themselves on their own as they get older. I’ll try for a happy medium. But I am excited about wearing spandex.

Luckily for me, they seem to at least have a passing interest in the hobby and have painted a bunch of my spare models. My children always ask me to leave out the terrain when I’m done playing a wargame with a friend and they play with their toys on it and roll dice. For my son’s 7th birthday this year, he asked to come to my 40k club with me! So I took him, got dinner and went to the club. We played a small game of Nids vs Chaos Marines off to the side and he got to meet my friends. A picture of him playing is the wallpaper on my phone and it is one of my favorite memories with him.

I guess what I’m saying is, I am excited that they show an interest, but that is somewhat expected since they are exposed to it. My goal in the coming years is to support them in whatever they choose to do. I would be thrilled if at least one of them want to share this hobby with me, but if not, that’s okay too. Too many of us had the guilt of doing things that were frowned upon by our parents because they didn’t “get” it.

Do any of you have kids that play with you? Have you had these concerns too?

Pimpcron signature 3

DFTDG logo button for BoLSShorehammer Button for BoLS

  • The Rout

    My children don’t need to play warhammer but gaming of some sort is none negotiable. They will either be nerds or they will live in the woods with the other ferals!

    I find i am missing some key equipment in the procreation department. Any chance I could borrow that tactical baseball bat to assist me with finding/ capturing a suitable “vessel” for my spawn?

    • lol. Yes you can borrow the bat, but I’ll warn you. It’s a fully automatic, high capacity bat.

  • V10_Rob

    “Who taught you to build such trash-tier army lists!?”

    “You, alright! I learned it by watching you!”

    • Desmond Burke

      Oh now I KNOW you’re old enough to be a parent 🙂

  • NNextremNN

    Pretty sure baseball is heresy.

    Also the interests of kids change. Little ones tend to admire mom or dad. Especially if it is something vaguely interesting or cool. But this might change when he decides he/she doesn’t want to be like their parents anymore. They might even get back when they get much older. Every year is like a new edition you have to make the best of it (and no abandoning your children is not an option is this case).

    I think it is a good idea to support your children what ever they do (at least if they don’t do harm to others or themselves).

  • David Leimbach

    I always have the 6×4 table set up. Once in a while I change which armies are left out. The kids like to play make believe with the models, but there are rules.
    1. models are not allowed to touch each other. Kids like to bang toys together when they fight and that will simply destroy everything. Lets keep the paint on the models.
    2. Models only on the table, no other toys. Legs, playmobile, everything else has its place and when you start mixing, they forget rule #1 and start to play rough.
    3. Models stay in the room (office). So none wander off and disappear.
    All in all their interest comes and goes. The weirdest part is when I’m interested and they’re not. Unfortunately neighbor kids and cousins aren’t really allowed to play, because they’re simply going to start playing with the models like they’re legos and accidentally smash them to bits.

  • Rush Darling

    Not a parent (yet), but I think you’ve opted for an excellent approach. My dad picked up the hobby with me when I wandered into the York games workshop at the tender age of 11, and while it’s rare we get to play together, the fluff alone has become common ground for discussion for the better part of two decades. I’ve genuinely no idea if he picked the hobby up BECAUSE I did, or if he simply left strategically placed sci-fi in my path so HE had an excuse to dive in. I might ask him one day.

    • That’s great! We have a father and son that play at our group each week. I’ve always found it touching to see that. Sounds like your dad is a cool guy. 🙂

  • Desmond Burke

    I paint with my oldest, and she has a passing interest in Heroclix. What we do play all the time is Pokemon. I NEVER thought I would ever ever ever play. It’s a great entry game though, and I actually enjoy playing it with her. I’m hoping to get her playing more AoS with more Wood Elves.

  • Ty Hayden

    My daughter is a little young to be playing yet, just now turning 3, but she loves to paint with me. Last weekend while we were picking up her toys, she kept grabbing random bits of toys like beads and disks; when her mom asked what she was doing, she said she was going to make a game for everyone to play.

    I could not be prouder, though her painting technique does need a little bit of work…

    • A little nerd! Adorable! I’m proud for you.

  • ChubToad

    My oldest likes AoS, because of the “dinos”. We’ve tried to paint together too. I bought her some platic dinos for her to paint. It’s been a blast till now,

  • Davis Centis

    I don’t yet, but I eagerly am watching my niece and nephew get older. My nephew loves Pokemon cards right now, and he’s always enjoyed looking at my models (and wanting to smash them, but that’s because he understands that the models fighting is the thing they do). Maybe someday.

    But, if only because the universe is a hoot and a half, I’m pretty sure my son or daughter will end up playing football or guitar. And when or if that happens, I will support them 100% on whatever their interest is (so long as it’s not, like, killing kittens or some such).

    • Hey, don’t knock killing kittens you bigot. 😀 It’s a lifestyle choice.

  • Malevengion

    My little niecelings have shown an interest for years in painting my miniatures and have only recently learned that there’s a game that goes with them. Now that they can read I could start teaching them but their mom doesn’t want them to become “geeks”.

    Of course, what generates more interest in little kids then telling them, “Sorry, I can’t teach you it’s….FORBIDDEN BY YOUR MOM” LOL

    • You’re right! Make it a sneaky thing and they will eat it up. “Mom’s gone to the store, let’s break out the 40k!”

  • Gangrel767

    My son is 11 and has shown passing interest in a number of table top games over the last couple years. Unfortunately for me, nothing has bit him yet. He is an avid video game player, and he really loves the Dawn of War series, but as soon as it is table top, it loses something for him. I’m hoping that changes as he gets older as he loves D&D, Smallworld, Catan and Munchkin.

    My approach has been to make it available to him, but with no pressure to play or even check it out. We’ve played a handful of 40k games and even some Dark Age. Here’s hoping he gains interest, but even if not… it’s awesome to have another generation of people who are comfortable with it and who don’t see it as the “weirdo” hobby it was when I was his age.

    Keep in mind, I grew up when D&D was the devil’s work. lol

    • euansmith

      Zombiecide and Zombiecide: Black Plague are a great couple of games that could function as a gateway dru… um… introduction to pushing models around in real life.

      • Gangrel767

        Thanks for the tip!

      • Xodis

        Unless you have “gotta have it all” syndrome like many collectors than its absolutely the worst because of all the limited items lol.

        • euansmith

          I got the Black Plague kickstarter with a zillion extra heroes and monsters (after playing a bunch of a friend’s Zombiecide) and we haven’t used anything but the basic set yet 😀 But, it is certainly an option to go crazy on collecting 😀

    • Xodis

      There is also Imperial Assault (and its many expansions). It has great looking models and its set in the Star Wars universe which is usually an easy way to hook someone.

    • Ya know, you’re right. Even if it isn’t his cup of tea, we are changing the future social atmosphere. Huh. Never thought of it like that.

      • Gangrel767

        Hell yea! Shaping the future!

    • Rahl

      If he’s in to Dawn of War, you could try the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for Dawn of War Soulstorm. It adds so much more to the game: including Daemons, Inquisition, Tyranids, and lots of units and vehicles for all the other original factions. Its tons of fun. It has TITANS!

      http://www.moddb.com/mods/ultimate-apocalypse-mod

      Most importantly, it convinced me to get into the hobby side of things, and 2 of my friends (and one of their brothers) to buy 40k models. Been about a year and a half, and i already have so many boxes sitting around… (started with Necrons).

  • memitchell

    Hey, Pimp…We all know when you say “I’m Joking,” you actually mean, “I’m DEAD serious!”

    Want to cure your son’s aberrant fascination with baseball? Do what I did, become a San Diego Padres fan. My son can name more players that left the team this year than any players left on the team this year. He’d rather play CSM’s against Eldar than watch a Padres game.

    • Xodis

      “rather play CSM’s against Eldar than” wow…thats harsh lol

      • The_Ordo_Malleus

        Anything vs Eldar is pretty harsh!

    • lol. I don’t ever mind people taking me the wrong way or taking my ridiculousness seriously, but this was the first time I just couldn’t bare for someone to actually think i was like this. Would have been funnier had I acted serious, but then I’d get CPS called on me.

  • My son is only 2, but I’m looking forward to molding and gently shaping him into a true gamer, geek, and scifi/fantasy fan.

    The thing I dread is the day I say something like, “I CAN’T BELIEVE I RAISED A MEATHEAD JOCK!” Ugh.

  • Dennis J. Pechavar

    When my son was ten or so he enjoyed 40k. The normal dice luck of children and those who don’t care was there for him and he won many of those games(I also made his list better than mine but I’m a grown adult, can’t brag about beating a ten year old). He beat me in one epic game that had gone on for hours and then mysteriously never wanted to play again. The mystery was he had beaten me and if he played again he might lose and he wanted to remember that the last game he had won. Sad but 8 years later he reads the fluff and loves the models, even paints once in a while but never rolls the dice.

    • … That is sad. Hopefully he will get out of the fear of losing. My son is such a poor sport and he rolls terribly. lol. So I tell him that we are just making a movie, and it’s not me versus him. We are working together to see if one side can get out alive or whatnot. He digs that idea and has been much better at rolling crappy. A bad roll isn’t a failure on your part, people die in war.

      • euansmith

        “Field Marshal Haig, what is wrong?”

        “I… just… rolled… snake-eyes…”

        “Terrible luck, old bean, I had such high hopes for Passchendaele too.”

  • Richard Mitchell

    My son shows no interest in wargaming what so ever. He wants to join boy scouts, and hike, and tie knots, and play football. I don’t know what to do. Can someone help me?

    • euansmith

      Have you watched “Misery” with Kathy Bates and James Caan? There are some ideas in there about curtailing someone’s unwanted mobility.

    • I’d say you just sell him and get a new one.

    • Ty Hayden

      I was in scouts, that is actually a quick and easy path into tcgs and rpgs: at least in Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, not so much. We played L5R, the Star Wars CCG that came out with the new trilogy, the d6 Star Wars RPG, Vampire the Masquerade, Windzone, the Decipher SW TCG. It is only a matter of time.

  • Mattias Andersson

    I’ve tried to play some AoS with my 5 year old. I reduce down the rules (mostly skipping past most special rules for some units). He says he likes it, but I can see he gets bored pretty fast. But he loves picking out armies and place them for a display.
    When I’m picking up new models, I let him help me. I pick out a few options I like, and he decides which one. His favorites are my daemon prince, chaos lord on manticore and bloodletters.

    So far, It’s a fun thing we can do together, but nothing we do regulary. It’s a good way to introduce rules and limits, learning to work within a limited system. And count dice.

  • cudgel

    Who knew a metal man without genitals could be father of the year!

    • Lol. Who said I am not anatomically correct? I taped a telescoping car antenna on my pelvis.

  • DaveTycho

    Hey Pimpcron, how did you get your son? Did you build him yourself, or did you buy him from a robot factory?

    • He is actually a wooden robot kit we bought from Ikea. But I programmed all of the innards. 😀

  • Well, we’re talking about compiling a Wargate “Gatehouse” edition of the rules.

    THEN maybe we’ll play 40k … again.

    As of right now, it’s right out.

    RIGHT OUT.

    You will play ANYTHING but 40k.

    Anyway, it seems they all want to play X-Wing and DDAW.

  • narceron

    I sat my kid in front of beast of war a few times to show him gaming.

    40k was my goal…he decided frostgrave looked great. I’ll take it…close enough. But I will say his Felstad will have at least one frozen munitorium.