Pimpcron has had enough with you people (you know who you are).
I bring salutations and greetings to you readers. You can only take one, there isn’t enough of them for everyone to have both. Today I come to you, not as a mere humble metallic alien horror, but as the friend and father figure than I know I am to many of you.
I’ve been around the block for a while, and I have learned some dark secrets about my friends and some of you on the internet that make me cringe. You need to stop doing these couple things or I’m going to have to “leave real quick to go get cigarettes” like your real father did and never come back.
Painting Models on the Sprue
This may the one that irritates me the most. What kind of half-breed weirdo paints models on the sprue? I get that you want to paint “all” of the model and some people find it hard to paint in armpits and crotches of their models when assembled. But I cringe whenever I see beautifully painted models still on sprue. So you spend all of this time painting, then cut the piece off the sprue and what about the vent spots where it was still attached? You then have to paint those spots afterwards, including any blending that you had to do on the model prior. I don’t see any net time gained at all.
In a related point, why on Earth do you care if some thing is painted that nobody can see? I have had this talk with my friend Steve who paints his parts separate prior to assembling and he even paints the BOTTOM OF HIS MODEL’S FEET. Ya know, the part that is 100% not visible to anyone? The part of the foot that only you and God know what looks like between the base and model? Why would you spend time doing that?
Ever since I first started, I thought, “Well, if I can’t see it nobody else can.” I assemble first then prime and paint. I have painted literally hundreds of models and never once has anyone noticed that the little 28mm dude’s armpit was any different the rest of the model. I mean, I reach in there and paint the armpit if it’s a visible part of the model, if not screw it.
Thinning Your Paints All The Time
What is with you guys? Any picture I ever see on Facebook or elsewhere, 90% of the comments are “Thin your paints”. The model could be perfect, but people think it’s hilarious. It’s not. I get it that Duncan is like our first ever celebrity in our hobby that wasn’t actual game creator. His Average Joe status makes him easier to identify with than a lofty and venerated gaming designer like Sir Andy Chambers. But if you guys thin your paints every time you use them, you’d be water coloring by now. I only thin my paints when I see the paint in the pot is getting a bit thicker, and so a drop or two of water in the pot makes everything all loosey-goosey again. Other than that, cut this crap out people.
Sure, we’ve all seen some models with paint that was way too thick on them, but the VAST majority of painters know not to do that and don’t use colored putty to paint their models. Thick paint is a beginner mistake, and was only intended originally as a tip for new people.
There is a 99% chance this people who shout “thin your paints” constantly talk loudly in movie theaters and talk with their mouthful at dinner.
Ignoring Molds Lines
I have a hunch that the mold line ignorers are the sprue painting people. Don your tin foil hat now, at the very least I feel that these two groups of hobbyists are working together to ruin this hobby for me.
I feel like I’m being too dramatic about all of this.
This is perfectly fine with some of you. [Pimpcron screams internally]
What kind of person would assemble and paint a model and leave hideous mold lines all over the place? Not a person I’d trust my dog with, and I don’t even own a dog. To me, a person how ignores their models’ mold lines shows a latent disrespect for life, probably doesn’t have their finances in order, and probably vapes competitively. While I don’t have any hard evidence for these allegations, I feel like this is a good summary of the type of person who overlook such an obvious thing.
~Are there any other hobby practices that irritate you?
Or contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for the latest rules if you don’t do the Facebooks.