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40K Taunting: The Art of the Warhammer Haiku

2 Minute Read
Sep 27 2014

Hey Folks! NoName1 here again, this time to talk about one of my favorite aspects of Warhammer 40K: Taunting!
One of my most frequent opponents and I have a tradition. That is, when we’re itching for a game (whether we have one planned soon or not) we craft a suitably offensive Haiku.

A Haiku, for those not familiar with it, is a Japanese poem form, consisting of syllable-limited lines in the order of “5 / 7 / 5.”
…Technically, it’s also supposed to include reference to seasons, colors, and some kind of “cutting” transition, but as long as you’ve got the syllables, I tend to be pretty lax.

Here are some of my favorites from my back and forth:

My boyz are hungry
They’ve had no Eldar brain soup
In so many days!
The boyz are all chaff
Swaying in a gentle breeze
Soon to be reaped!
I have a question
Can those dirty ‘Nids grow beards?
No? Embarrassing.

Eldar War engines 
Eldritch weapons primed hot
Come silent and swift!

Catastrophe looms
Eldar blood will soak the soil
For I have returned!
You are not prepared
Upstart mon-keigh laddie-o
Fear shenanigans! 
That was eloquent
But I can’t hear your voice
Over bikes roaring!

Meow meow me-
Explosives are sweet
Dark Angels’ bikes charge
Roaring around in circles
They forgot the map
They have hip haircuts
But not nearly as sweet as
Headless Tyranids


Space Marines are
So juicy and delicious
But first so crunchy!

They say it’s the calm
That comes before the worst storms
Nah, it’s Dark Angels!
Dark Angels lie down
Peaceful in their calm repose
All dead in the dust!

This is how we goad each other into making mistakes before we start a game. How do you taunt your opponents? Stern glare? Hydraulic dice box?

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