Pimpcron has some complaints. And some solutions. Mostly complaints.
Your mother’s secret crush, Pimpcron, has arrived from deep space to talk about what makes me confused. It always seems the case with GW’s rules makers that some units and armies get all the love while others just fall by the way side. I could name dozens of units and armies that feel like unwanted children. The decision between Bikes and Jump Infantry feels like that situation to me.
So What Is The Difference?
Bikes generally give a +1 to the model’s Toughness, which is a huge deal. Being that *most* weapons in 40k are Strength 3 or 4, suddenly bumping a model up to Toughness 5 or even 6 is awesome. Bikes are also Relentless, allowing them to move normally and assault while firing Heavy or non-Assault weapons. Bikes also get a 4+ Jink save against shooting as if they are carrying around mobile cover with them. They also move 12” normally and Turbo-boost 12”. What you’ve got here is a super mobile, toughness-buffing, cover-carrying, heavy weapons platform that can cover 24” in a turn if it wants. Oh, and usually their built-in weapons are twin-linked. Nasty.
Jump Infantry are the slower, weaker, lamer brother to the Bikers. They move 12” but that’s where the similarities end. They act like normal infantry for running, assaulting, and shooting purposes. And unless you model them carrying potted shrubbery, they don’t get to carry cover around with them. Sure, they can move OVER things, but most people set up their boards without a lot of blocking terrain. So for most situations that ability is kind of void … yay Jump Infantry! Oh, and there is that little bit of stupidness about not using their jump packs in the movement phase to get Fleet in the assault phase … yay!
My Next Question: Why Do I Care?
So why do I care? This goes back to my old problem I have where GW doesn’t make all units good at something. It seems that GW picks their favorites and that’s it. No love for the lame ones. Both of these unit types usually share a slot: Fast Attack. So why would anyone ever pick Jump over Bikers? They shouldn’t, and if you do it’s just because you hate yourself. And while we’re on the subject, I hate you too.
At the end of 5th edition, Bikers were already on top when it came to stats and abilities as it is, then GW gave them the Jink save because, ya know, reasons. Meanwhile, they give Jump Infantry that stupid rule where they can either move or assault with their Jump pack and gain Hammer of Wrath. Okay so let’s do some maths:
If you are 18” from an enemy, you can move 12” and then assault 6”, or move 6” and need a 12” assault with re-rolls. Ummmmm. Okay.
So if you’re 12” from an enemy, you could move up to 1” of them and have an auto-assault roll. Or move 6” and need a re-rollable 6” charge that you might not make? Ummmm. Well shit. Why do we have this rule again?
Oh, it must be the Hammer of Wrath … at base strength … AP nothing. I’m getting angrier as I write this.
Oh, and by the way, I can’t find anything in the rulebook that says I can’t just drive a Biker up a wall and onto a floor. That is just ridiculous.
So what on earth possessed them to further improve bikers versus giving something (meaningful) to Jump? I dunno. Your guess is as good as mine. But here is what I think they should do to rectify it.
Oh, I’m not really a solutions guy, I’m more of just a bitcher. Ha! You think I don’t have ideas? I scoff in your general direction.
I really think Jump Infantry need Fleet and Hammer of Wrath all of the time. It doesn’t really make sense that they would have Relentless, a +1 Toughness, or a Jink save, but the first sentence seems not only reasonable, but I dare say it is a necessity. I would also write somewhere that bikers may not go up walls. I think those two changes would help balance the two options.
I’m writing up a whitehouse.gov petition as we speak to ask, no demand that GW gives these abilities to this unit type.
HEY GUESS WHAT? “The Pimpcron” has created a Warhammer 40k/Wargaming Convention in December 2016. If you live in the Mid-Atlantic area of the U.S. you might want to come have fun with this crazy and adorable robot . . . Like us on Facebook for Updates HERE.
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