8th Edition has been through two updates and a Codex. It’s time to do something about these names.
Friends, we’re here today to address an oversight that two iterations of FAQs and a whole Codex couldn’t fix. It’s breaking the game at every level from top tier tournament play to the most casual home games. That’s right I’m talking about the names of the new units.
How many times has your game been held up by not being able to tell an intercessor from am inceptor. Even just now I had to go look them up and am still only 85% sure I’ve gotten them right.
Pictured: Definitely a Primaris Insomethingorother.
Now this probably could’ve been solved by calling the ones who fly and maybe intercept people something exactly like interceptors, or keep Intercessors and call the other ones Graduates, because they have a degree, and that’s what incept means.
But fortunately we live in the future. In a place where communities can communicate instantly thanks to the miracle of modern technology, like the infoceptwork, we can arrive at a solution. So I present to you the rechristening. Here we have five candidates for new names. We’ve provided our own suggestions, but, again thanks to the miracle of modern technology, you can supply your own (superior) suggestions as well. The point is we have a chance to do some objective good in the 41st millenia, and these are rate enough indeed. Let’s begin by examining a perfect specimen, from which to guide our collective efforts:
Now here we see art and craft at work. This name is straight to the point and leaves no question about what these marines do. They blast things from hell to hell (as well as others of far more terrestrial origins). Clean and clear, let this shining monument be our guide. On to the ones needing new monikers.
No question, these guys need a new name. Now not because of any supposed misspelling–the Reivers are totally an extant thing already, with roots in history. And here, of course, I speak not of Scottish border raiders but of the American pop band based out of Austin, TX in the early 1980s. And while, of course, this is a perfectly valid inspiration, it’s not the most descriptive of them. They don’t really maraud so much as drop in on opponents and then, having surprised them with their grappling hooks and terrorizing appearance, they beat them to a pulp.
With that in mind, there’s a clear choice: Batmans.
These guys are an investing case. They’re not particularly aggressive–their primary ability kicks off whenever they don’t move. And sure, they have close up weapons and shoot a lot when it works, but that didn’t really scream “Aggressor.” Why not name them sheet their signature move and call them Firestorms. Our better still, since their weapons are all gauntlet based, go with the BoLS preferred: Handymen.
Now these guys are a little harder to figure out. Their signature power is that they can fly around unleashing a storm of bolt fire or plasma (see above) and are a sort of rapid deployment attack squadron. Capable of nearly unmatched firepower, these guys are speedy and capable of crushing assaults when needed.
Let the jetpacks speak for themselves here. Let their speed and firepower define them. They are the Primaris’ messengers–and the message is bullets. Which is why we at BoLS refer to these as Mercurials.
Now Incept means to graduate, and these guys have bolters, the most basic, workhorse of all Primaris units. With those two facts in mind, these guys are basically fresh out of Primaris college, and are basically the interns of the Astartes. While they may one day be paid, right now they’re working for exposure. But you can’t just call them interns, they’ll resent that. Call them instead Rockstars or perhaps Gurus. It’ll look great on their resumes.
You no doubt have your own monikers, so be sure and let us know–as a community we can put an end to this confusion once and for all. Thank you and good day.