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40K: Diseases of Nurgle

3 Minute Read
Sep 10 2017
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The Deathguard Codex is out. Side effects may include pus-filled stomach tentacles, orificial leakage, and nurglings.

Hello friends. This week is all about previewing the Deathguard Codex. And sure, you’ll see some articles dealing with new rules, psychic powers, models, and all the stuff you’ll actually “use in the game,” or whatever. But I want to talk about the one thing I can guarantee nobody else will talk about–just how sick Nurgle’s new army is.

But I mean that literally. Grandfather Nurgle is the Chaos god of disease, and his gifts are given to all his chosen. Looking through the codex, what diseases do we see? Nurgle Rot and a few generic references to “plagues.”

That’s not going to help Nurgle’s social media reach. And this in an age of viral media and advertising. Downright criminal if you ask me. So to help bring the focus back on Nurgle’s core message, let’s take a look at some brandportunities with the extant line.

Now right away we have this tentacled monstrosity–and sure, chaos mutates chaps, but why not take credit. After all, Nurgle is known for making a million billion diseases. Call it something like Nurgle’s Caress, which both evokes his friendly nature and the fact that you’ll soon be caressing folks with disease-ridden limbs whose skin sloughs off until you’re left with naught but a tentacle.

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This is an extreme case of Gutmouth. Which affects more than 15% of the population. There’s no cure, but with a special diet, it can be treated. (See the attached product proposal for FODMAP free Nurgl-O’s)

What a handsome influencer. With product combos like that, Nurgle’s instagram penetration will be through the roof. This is what sponsored content can get you. See here the vibrant carbuncles of Nurglicella, or the swollen, deformed limbs that come with advanced Nurglotitis.

Or the stretched, pale skin that comes from Plaguey McPlagueface, which is a name we came up with through an online contest.

As you can see, the potential for growth is limitless. So now let’s open up the floor to our brandgineers.

Give us your best new Nurgle disease.

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