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Pimpcron: You Probably Don’t Know You Suck

5 Minute Read
Dec 21 2019

Pimpcron has some tough love for you all today.

Hey everyone, your personal amateur Psychologist, Pimpcron, is here with some insight for you. I know a lot of people, probably more than you do. I hate to start off an article with a brag, but I’ve started now. The only thing I hate more than starting off an article with a brag is halting a brag when it is underway. So I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m being completely honest. If I were to count the number of friends I have, it would be … at least eight. Now I know a lot of you may not believe me, because honestly, who has that many friends? But I have lots. Maybe more like seven now that I think about it, but you get my point.

Anyway, I know a lot of people and I have seen a lot people having the same problem.

You Don’t Know That You Suck At Things

I have to be careful with how I put this because I wouldn’t want to make my numerous friends upset. I run a lot of tournaments, and narrative battles, and even regular games with different people. It is alarming how often people don’t take even a single second to judge if their decisions were the right thing to do or not. In the game they are playing, they are constantly presented with decisions to make. Do you advance or sit back? Should you be aggressive or just farm victory points? Many people I have met never really make decisions. Sure, they do something but they never really weigh both options and make a choice. They move models across the field, and they roll dice, but it’s almost like they are on auto pilot.

“Uhh, stabby unit gonna stab. Shootin’ ones gonna … stab too?”

After they’ve finished their game and moved stuff around, the first thing they want to blame for their poor performance is the game. Or their army. Maybe the power curve. Sometimes they accuse the other player of being cheesy (and sometimes they’re right). But many times I’ve gotten feedback about my narrative games or missions where people who made bad decisions want to claim that the mission was bad.

Real World Example

For a simple and true example, a player has an objective on their left and one on their right. The one on the left is surrounded by very killy models. The player “chooses” to go left anyway and gets murdered. The feedback I receive is that the enemy was OP, or mission was bad, or should have been different, etc.

My reply was, “Why didn’t you just go right and score points rather than running headlong into a bad matchup?” This is a real situation (albeit vague-ified). He got this blank look on his face and had no answer to my question. It was at that moment I saw it dawn on him that maybe, just maybe …

No, of course not. It’s silly. I won’t even say it.


Okay, I’ll say it, but please be sitting down when you read it.

Maybe, as crazy as it sounds, maybe HE MADE THE WRONG DECISION.

Here’s How To Fix This

I have developed a habit of asking myself and those around me how I could have played better after each game. Scratch that, I usually ask myself that question. Most people’s opinions are garbage. But I literally do this after every game. If I won I will ask myself what mistakes I still made and earmark them in my head for future games. If I lost, I will ask myself the same thing but I am also more inclined to ask someone else that played with me.

Every game has key moments that change the course of the game results. Should I have gone left? I went right and ended up losing that unit. But on the other hand, the force that was designated to kill my unit when they went right was not aimed at my more important units. But if I had gone left instead, what would have likely happened?

You need to ask yourself those questions after each game and that is how you get better. Matter of fact, start questioning everything in life and see where it gets you. I find that a big issue with human beings is that we often do things without thinking about other options. What brand of soap do you use? Why do you use that and not some other brand? Could you find a cheaper brand to do the same thing? Granted, not everything in your life will have wiggle room to optimize, but the point is that you are thinking that way. For example, the route you take to work is probably already the fastest route. But it’s still worth looking into, you never know if you could be saving time or money on something.


In conclusion, any mission could be imbalanced, and any army could just suck. But make sure you are asking these questions to make sure that better players aren’t rolling their eyes behind your back when they hear you whine.

Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!

Thanks Michael, smooches!

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Author: Scott W.
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