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Pimpcron: Weird People I’ve Met Selling Warhammer

5 Minute Read
Oct 31 2020

Pimpcron has been around the block a few times, maybe he should travel to another block.

Hi, hello, how’s it going! Don’t answer, I can’t hear you. In other news, I don’t care either. So I have sold a lot of Warhammer on the secondary market in my time. I used to have an active resale account on eBay and I have ran into several types of people. I have now classified in them in the most humane way possible while preserving their idiocy.

People Who Don’t Understand Economics

This story has happened at least twice to me over the years. I post a listing of used Warhammer for sale, already at a decent discount. Someone contacts me and says they will take the lot at the price I want. I tell them my payment info for sending the money and that’s when they drop their master plan.

For the purposes of this example, the lot is $100 and shipping is $10.

Them- Hey, can you give me free shipping? I’ll take the lot if I can get free shipping?

Me- Hmmm. Okay, I’ll give you free shipping if you pay my Paypal fees. So the total for the lot is $110 and I’ll throw in free shipping.

Them- You’ve got a deal.

Another satisfied transaction.

Is this proof that I’m some sort of genius? Nope, it’s just that most people are really dumb. Also, if you agree to take a lot at a certain price, afterwards is not the time to ask for free shipping. Everyone is so obsessed with free shipping nowadays, they don’t ever think that places who offer free shipping just add that to the price of the item?


People Who Think You’re Stupid

This one happened to me about a month ago. I was selling off some of my Orks when this really clever person messaged me. I currently had them listed at 50% off retail because they are used and I really wanted to just be rid of them. This guy messages me and asks me all the same stuff that was already in the listing. I felt like being smart but decided not to. He then asked if I had more, which I did. Stuff that was not listed but I was willing to get rid of. So after digging through my stuff and sending him pictures and everything, he says he’ll take it all.

I was happy until he offers to buy it from me for 70% off retail. . .


Absolutely man! Matter of fact, I will send it to you free of charge and I’ll pay YOU $100 just to take it off my hands. I had all these models and I was so scared and confused. I didn’t know what to do with them and I am so happy a good Samaritan like you came by to offer such a generous offering! To be honest, I wasn’t aiming to actually get any money off these minis, just posted it with a price because I like numbers. 324. See? That was a number. In fact, the code you put in to call my cell phone is all numbers too. And my mailing address has at least a couple numbers in it. What a pal!

Clearly I said no to his philanthropic offer.

People Who Waste Your Time

I list a lot, describe everything in it. I get a message asking questions like a 5 year old. Do have extra of this, could I throw in a that. What is the price if he bought just X,Y, and Z items? What is the price fi he bought G, J, and Y items? We play this game for a while and eventually we get to the end and he says:


“Cool, thanks. I don’t have the money right now, but I’ll think about it.”

AAAARRRRGGGHHH! Seriously?! You made me stop what I was doing, talk to your stupid ass for an hour and send you extra pics. Then I gave you all these prices for different combinations. THEN you reveal that you don’t have the money right now, but you’ll consider it?!

People Who Don’t Read The Listing

Earlier this year I listed a lot, clearly detailed and with pictures:

  • 1 Deffdread with 4 klaws-painted
  • 20 Boys with slugga/choppa- painted & based
  • 10 Nobs with Big Choppas- unpainted

I get a message inquiring about the lot.

Him- So are the Nobs based?

Me- [looks at listing, confused] No

Him- Any Skorchas on that Deffdread?

Me- [suspecting that he is messing with me] Yeah, 4 skorchas.


Him- Really? The listing says 4 Klaws.

Me- [baffled] Yeah, I was joking. The listing says 4 Klaws.

Him- Just trying to make sure that is what it has on it.

Me- [increasingly annoyed] Well there is a clear pic of the Deffdread, you can verify.

Him- Any Nobs in the Boy unit?

Me- [squeezing phone too tight, screen cracks.] Did you read the listing? There is no Nob in the boy unit.

Him- Yeah I did. I’ll get back to you.

[never gets back to me]

Well, he got me. I often post pictures of someone else’s models when I list a lot, and often say it has one load out but the model really has another. It’s a fun little mind game I play. He was just so smart he figured me out.

Have You Run Into These People?


Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!

Thanks Michael, smooches!

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