It’s summer the traditional time for shark attack movies – good and bad. These are mostly bad. Ok, they’re all bad.
Sharknado 2: The Second One
Putting your deadly shark(s) in the ocean is so predictable and passé. Let’s put them in some impossible and stupid places! The classic Ian Ziering diaster franchise from SyFy went on a bit too long, but it’s early movies managed to not drag. There are sharks in the air, sharks in space, sharks in bars, sharks being killed by chainsaws and surfboards. It has every trope ever plus some of the most eyeroll inducing one-liners in cinema. I chose the second movie for its ridiculous opening sequence where sharks attack a plane and its celeb cameos that include Billy Ray Cyrus. It still manages to be stupid fun.
The Last Shark aka L’ultimo Squalo
This 1981 low-budget Italian rip-off/sequel to Jaws stars Peter Benton as horror novelist James Franciscus. The writer tries to save a coastal resort town from a giant great white whose screen time is mainly made of stock footage from nature films. There’s a greedy mayor and a grizzled boat captain, the works. It definitely hits the criteria for so bad it’s good.
The stereotypical summer vacation movie meets a lot of sharks. It’s from the guy that created the Final Destination franchise and the producers of Hostel – so you know where this is going. People get fed to sharks by other people for amusement and money. There’s an excess of scenes of sharks leaping out of the water and some really dumb kills. It makes for a great gather in front of the TV and yell at the characters being stupid movie.
“Shark Night 3D is a horrible film that is one of the most unoriginal pieces of crap I’ve seen in quite some time.” – Alex R. on RT
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda
A half-shark, half-octopus battles a half-pterodactyl, half-barracuda.
This is smack in the middle of direct to DVD b-movie. Animal smugglers lose track of an exotic shark they’re transporting in the swamps of Louisiana, chaos and death ensue with the added bonus of alligators. This one stars Kristy Swanson (the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Robert Davi (he played a heavy in both Die Hard and The Goonies), and MLB Hall of Famer Wade Boggs (who makes a bunch of corny baseball jokes). If you enjoyed Anacondas: Trail of Blood, you’ll enjoy this.