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Pimpcron: SPACE MARINES – Why We ‘Love’ Them

5 Minute Read
Oct 26 2019
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Pimpcron is talking SPACE MARINES! or something like that.

Hey there. Let’s drop the façade. You clicked this article for one of three reasons.

  1. You are one of the legions of rabid Pimpcron fans.
  2. Your figure twitched by accident while hovering over the link. You need more Potassium.
  3. You saw the magical words “Space Marines” and you suddenly felt a mighty need rise inside you. Your finger slammed the mouse button and your pupils dilated in anticipation.

I didn’t even need to put other words in the title of the article for you to click it. I think we all learned something today. Hey, everyone has to get excited about something. Yours just happens to be over fictional genetically-altered fascists. Don’t be ashamed of that, be proud of who you are. Just don’t mention it to literally anyone outside your closest of friends.

I was doing a poll in our local hobby group and 12 out of 14 of the people we counted currently owned some form of Space Marine army. And the other two have owned a Marines army at some point. Why is that?

They Are The Poster Boys?

Games Workshop obviously loves Astartes. We all obviously love them, according to the supposed sales numbers. So the most obvious reason why everyone loves them is because GW forces them down our throat at every turn. They are on posters, book covers, and Monopoly for God’s sake. GW comes out with Funko Pop! figures, and who is the first ones made? Marines. GW loves Marines so much that when they decided to make a Big Baddie for this game they chose to make them … you got it. Spikey Space Marines.

But are we this simple-minded? Do we favor a faction just because they are the main focus of the game narratively? Most backstory fluff is centered around Space Marines. Does that make us more inclined to make them the best-selling faction? They are the largest faction by model and codex count, which would suggest that they sell the best. No other army can touch them in that department, and GW continues to release even more! All the time!

Every chapter of Marines.

Photo by: Yann Jouannic

They Look Like Us?

I have rarely even met a player that did not have a Marine army, and has never owned one. I also play Space Marines (Chaos and Celestial Lions to be specific) so I am part of the problem. If you decline the idea that we are so simple that we literally find an attraction to the army that is constantly thrown in our face, then there’s another option. An option that makes a lot of sense if you have no more faith in humanity.

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“The Spess M’reens LoOk LiKE uS!” Honestly, this is probably the culprit and it’s kind of sad in a way. Most of us like the back story and get into the game for the same reasons why we like TV, movies, and video games: escapism. That is perfectly good and all, but we any author will tell you that people need to have common ground with the protagonist or they feel alienated and don’t get into a story. That’s why seeing a wall smeared with blue blood doesn’t have nearly the same visceral emotional impact as having a wall smeared with red blood. We see red as blood, even when it doesn’t make sense. (red Ork blood anyone?)

It is kind of a downer to have to admit that we like and relate to things that look like us, thus why only a few Daemons and Tyranids don’t have a human-shaped silhouette. Most everything in fiction has a torso, head, two arms, and two legs. Okay, if they are feeling really crazy they might throw in a tail or an extra set of arms. But the truth is, Space marines get all the love because they are the easiest faction to relate to because of our simple, stupid, monkey brains.

But Why Not Imperial Guard?

Oh, you sweet summer child. It’s really cute that you’d ask that. Remember what I said about escapism? Some of us (myself included) play Imperial Guard and like the idea of the simple common soldier fighting against crazy odds. But for our escapism, we tend to like over-the-top heroes which is why we love super hero movies. We live in a normal world everyday of our lives, so if you’re going to dive into fiction, why read about a normal person? The majority of people choose Marines over Guard because they are relatable, yet supper powered and interesting.

It’s a real shame that the other factions don’t get as much love from the fans. I mean, sure there are tons of players that play Xenos factions, but pretty much everyone also plays Marines. In my most humble of opinions, I feel like the Space marine esthetic isn’t nearly as interesting as some of the other factions.

I mean, take a moment to check out a Tyranid in detail. Or pick up one of the Bloodthirster models. These things are a million times more interesting than the Astartes theme. These other factions have tons of interesting rules, units, and weapons. Stuff that outclasses marines by a lot in function, look, and backstory. I mean, Tyranid weapons are literally symbiotes that shoot projectile organisms designed specifically to pierce armor. That’s awesome! But then again, why play other armies that aren’t just like us, huh?

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Chime in if you are or know someone who has never played a Space marine army. You are the great white buffalo of our hobby.

Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!

Thanks Michael, smooches!

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