Its honk reverberates the fabric of the multiverse. In its wake, nothing is left untouched. No rake, unlaked. Now the horrible goose has come to D&D…
Stories are full of humanity’s reach exceeding its grasp. Whether in the hands of a lone scientist, whose research got them laughed out of their university (only to later find an opportunity to show them, show them all) or, in today’s case, in the hands of a redditor who was too busy thinking about whether or not they could, to stop and think whether or not they should, it seems that hubris is an enduring part of the human experience.
If only we could learn from our mistakes, we might not have let those dinosaurs run rampant on the island, or, unleashed the Goose out of HouseHouse’s new (and delightful) Untitled Goose Game on our sessions of D&D. But, this is the world we live in. Life, uh, finds a way–and in this case, sometimes life just Honks you up big time.
Thanks to redditor Otaku-sama the Goose has been turned into a stat block for your ease of use. We’ve got the stats below, assuming the Goose hasn’t come along and stolen everything.
The Nameless Goose does a fantastic job of capturing the spirit of the goose from the game. It’s naturally intelligent and evasive, and remarkably capable of disrupting the everyday life. But it isn’t malicious. It’s capricious–the sort of creature that you could see adventurers getting tasked with redirecting, instead of killing outright. Trying to fight it should go about as poorly as you expect.
Me as a child: who would actually be foolish enough to continue trying kill Bugs Bunny after being continually humiliated?
RPG Twitter today:
"My party would try to kill The Goose."
— James D'Amato BOO-sexual icon 🔜Big Bad Con (@OneShotRPG) October 5, 2019
Thanks to the internet, though, you can recreate the delight and delirium of trying to catch the Goose. Just watch out that it doesn’t go laying any golden eggs… we all know how that one ends.