T’was the Night Before Christmas: BoLS Edition
Guess who was chosen to greet you all this Christmas??
As part of my agreement with Bigred to continue to have my own private soundproof section of the BolS offices I have to write something holiday related. He even said if I did a good job then I could choose any writer to ” do whatever with, just leave me out of it”. Thus, being the charitable soul that I am, I quickly created this little poem to the measure of “T’was The Night Before Christmas”… I’m not a playwright, and I have no doubt that shows, but this contractually fulfills what I was asked to do, and that means a certain writer is going to get a personal super-fun-happy-time visit from me. Isn’t Christmas magical? – Mr. Black
A Very Bols-ey Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site
Not a person was online, not even to write.
The flamers were hung by the doorway with care,
In hopes that Bigred would soon be there.
The posters had gone, abandoned their threads,
While visions of Warhammer fought in their heads.
Goatboy and I settled down for a game,
And it was my intent to both bloody and maim.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the table to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Goatboy moved in a flash,
While I grabbed his coat and made off of with some cash.
The moon on the ground shining like Holy Terra
Gave the luster of mid-day to Bigred’s Chimera
He walked to the door and knocked it down with his fist
Then looked straight at me- and boy was he pissed.
He marched right up like he was looking to fight
He looked me in the eye and said “You plan to steal my site”.
My plan had been found, he now knew my aim
I had to think fast and find someone to blame!
“It was Darkwynn! No, Lux! No Fritz and The Girl!”
I thought up more names, my story must not unfurl.
“Spacecurves! Was him! He’s spreading propaganda!
Err… Would you believe it was BushidoRedPanda?”
He gave me a look of harsh disbelief
His anger grew more as he gritted his teeth
“Goatboy blamed you and would tell me no lie
I’ve known him for years he’s a trustworthy guy!”
Was then I remembered that he was still there
He had sold me out- I would get him I swear!
I needed a plan, and I needed it soon
Then it hit at once, a plan so opportune!
“But Bigred” I said, my voice fully sincere
“It’s the time for forgiving- comes only once a year!
Sorry I am and your words I will heed!
My actions, I admit, where motivated by greed!”
He stared me down, as if searching for lies
Luckily he found nothing of the plan I’d devised.
Letting me down on the floor with a grunt
He opened his mouth and said “Let me be blunt.”
“Perhaps your right about the holiday season
So Ill forgive you this once for that very reason.
But cross me again and this warning I’ll say
Try this again and your skin I will flay”
I smiled and nodded and walked right away
Right up to Goatboy and proceeded to say
“You sold me out, and for this simple reason
I’m going to kill you in lieu of such treason.”
He looked back at me with a laugh and a shrug
I wanted to cut him for acting so smug.
He then whispered low so that no one could hear
“You won’t steal my plan, it’s taken me years!”
My eyes lite up at the truth now revealed
But he didn’t know his fate he had sealed.
Bell of Lost Souls was mine to employ
I wouldn’t lose it to some punk named Goatboy.
I told him I was sorry, and I said I would change
And if he believed that then he must be deranged.
But for now I’ll just wait and let Bigred preside.
I’ll bide my own time and I’ll swallow my pride.
And that is the end of tale I will tell
Now off to kill Goatboy and send him to Hell.
And here is my message for those on the site:
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”
~Merry Christmas everyone! Spend this time with your friends and family and surround yourself with loved ones, least you wind up old and lonely like Mr. Black… Aww, now I’ve gone and made myself depressed.. Happy Holidays everyone! – Mr. Black
